Opening night, two friends and I (along with my mom, two of my sisters, and a thousand or so squealing people) turned out for the Eclipse premier. I didn’t get us tickets because I’m a fan of these movies… it was more for the swag bags that were being handed out (with hair product samples and candy!). Plus, it was the first time in a long time that I had an excuse to stay out after 9pm.

I’m pretty lame in my old age.

Here are Shahara, me, and Katie at 12:30am. Lookin’ good. And flashing our book club gang sign… cuz literary is how we roll.

(See the two men in the audience? They’re in the row directly behind us… their groans of agony were nearly deafening.)

I’ve never read any of the Twilight books, so I can’t really call myself a hater… I don’t believe you can hate something you don’t know. However, the movies are rather cheese-ball. Honestly. But I went in good spirits and intended to have a good time… I refrained from making loud snarky comments to ruin the experience for anyone else. The following is my recap of Eclipse. SPOILER ALERT! There are a lot of spoilers about nothing much happening.

“Edward, I love you. I love Jacob, too. But I love you more. I can love two people at the same time, right? Let’s go sit in the meadow at the top of the mountain and we can watch your skin sparkle like diamonds.”
“Bella, I love you, too. You are the awesomest chick I’ve met in my whole 100 years as a vampire. I can’t figure out what it is that makes you so special — no one can — but I will do anything I can to protect you. Except that one time when I didn’t. My bad. Okay, let’s go watch my skin sparkle like diamonds.”

*meanwhile, Victoria (the pretty redhead — and if I were Edward, I would have gotten with that) is running through the forest. Still. It’s been, like, a year or something, and she’s still running through the woods. She knows where Bella lives, but for some strange reason she never makes it to her house, instead opting to run very fast and aimlessly through the surrounding forest. And sometimes into Canada.*

“Bella, choose me. I’m way frickin hotter, way less emo, and can really rock these denim cut-offs with hiking boots. Seriously. Check me out as I lean against this car. No, I can’t tell you what we do with all of the cast-off denim pant legs… it’s a tribal secret.

*meanwhile, Victoria is running fast some more. There is a hot “newborn” vampire guy who is “amassing an army” of about seven other newborn vampires. The Volturi (y’know, those annoying vampires from Europe) are keeping an eye on things.*

“Edward, I want to have sex with you.”
“Not until you marry me. Though I have no soul, I am a very religious member of the undead.
*sigh* “Fine, I’ll marry you. Can we do it now?”
“What?! You’re marrying him?!? When were you going to tell me, Bella? Gah! Well, that’s okay. I know that you will choose me eventually. And I will keep loving you until your heart stops beating. Or my heart stops beating. Or one of us stops breathing. Or something.”
“Okaaaaayyyy… this isn’t awkward.”

*A HUGE battle ensues, involving about 7 vampires and about 7 werewolves. Heads are torn off, which is the most action we’ve seen thus far. Bella and Edward talk in a tent. Bella and Jacob talk in the woods. Jacob and Edward talk in a tent. More talking. Victoria’s head comes off.*

Credits roll!

I hope you’ve enjoyed this review. Don’t hesitate to see this movie if you liked the other ones. And if you like a lot of talking…

(book club representin’…. HOLLA!)

Diana and I went to see “August Rush”. I agree with Diana when she turned to me after the credits rolled and said “That had potential, but it just didn’t quite get there.” It was syrupy-sweet and that little Freddie Highmore is a sweetheart… but there were some cheese-ball parts of that movie that made even me groan.

One thing Diana and I agreed on: Jonathan Rhys Meyers is a real looker.

And he sings and plays the guitar well — which, as some of you may remember, makes me swoon. I love a guy with musical ability. (My husband is never hotter than when he’s playing the piano.) Diana worried — like she always does when sizing up leading men — that he would not be tall enough for her, should she actually ever date him in real life. (Diana, he is 5′ 10. I’d wear flats and call it good.) Also a bonus for Rhys Meyers, he has a fantastic Irish accent.

On to my next (current) crush: James McAvoy, who is starring in the upcoming “Atonement”, which I can’t wait to see.  And it better have a happy ending, and he better not die in the war, or I’ll stab someone. I’m getting a little bit Keira Knightly-ed out with her and the period pieces, but I’ll let it slide to see Mr. McAvoy again.

And finally we come to my longest-standing crush; the man who can’t seem to recover from his jag of terrible movies, Mr. Jason Statham. He is starring in the upcoming long-winded titled movie In The Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale.  (You must click the link and watch the trailer before reading on, that way you can make fun of the trailer with me.) Think: LOTR, only really dumb and with not as great costumes. Yesterday Jon sent me a link to a post blasting this movie (more specifically, the laughable, cheesy trailer) and I laughed really hard, despite my adoration for this man. Could there have been a hot guy named “Farmer” who beat the crap out of people during the Middle Ages using martial arts fly-through-the-air-round-house-kicks? Probably not. But I’ll continue my suspension of belief until after I see it, because I WILL see it. And as much as I laughed at the classic line “Those who you fight, we will help you fight them”… well, if I were given the chance to kick A along side Jason in a stupid movie, I’d say that awesome line in a heartbeat. Go Jason. Fight the evil Book Twirler. I’ll be there with nachos to see the epic battle.

 Also, I found a hilarious post this morning while looking around for pics of Jason Statham. Check out “The Bare Men’s Chest Movie Rating System”; The Transporter made the cut. Funny stuff.

Friday night the kids and I went up to Salt Lake to go to the movies with my BFF Diana and her boy, Byron. Jachin was so excited to go see Byron; I used that night out as disciplinary leverage for a week and half prior to the outing. It was great. We all ate at the mall food court and then we all went to see “Enchanted”. I don’t know which was better: watching the aforementioned cute piece of fluffy, cotton candy cinema, or watching Zoe watch the cute piece of fluff. Zoe smiled gleefully and clapped her hands and giggled. And when “true love’s first kiss” finally occurred… well, it was all over, people.  She cheered. It was everything a five year old could want in a fairy tale.

The five year old in me loved it, too.