Diana and I went to see “August Rush”. I agree with Diana when she turned to me after the credits rolled and said “That had potential, but it just didn’t quite get there.” It was syrupy-sweet and that little Freddie Highmore is a sweetheart… but there were some cheese-ball parts of that movie that made even me groan.

One thing Diana and I agreed on: Jonathan Rhys Meyers is a real looker.

And he sings and plays the guitar well — which, as some of you may remember, makes me swoon. I love a guy with musical ability. (My husband is never hotter than when he’s playing the piano.) Diana worried — like she always does when sizing up leading men — that he would not be tall enough for her, should she actually ever date him in real life. (Diana, he is 5′ 10. I’d wear flats and call it good.) Also a bonus for Rhys Meyers, he has a fantastic Irish accent.

On to my next (current) crush: James McAvoy, who is starring in the upcoming “Atonement”, which I can’t wait to see.  And it better have a happy ending, and he better not die in the war, or I’ll stab someone. I’m getting a little bit Keira Knightly-ed out with her and the period pieces, but I’ll let it slide to see Mr. McAvoy again.

And finally we come to my longest-standing crush; the man who can’t seem to recover from his jag of terrible movies, Mr. Jason Statham. He is starring in the upcoming long-winded titled movie In The Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale.  (You must click the link and watch the trailer before reading on, that way you can make fun of the trailer with me.) Think: LOTR, only really dumb and with not as great costumes. Yesterday Jon sent me a link to a post blasting this movie (more specifically, the laughable, cheesy trailer) and I laughed really hard, despite my adoration for this man. Could there have been a hot guy named “Farmer” who beat the crap out of people during the Middle Ages using martial arts fly-through-the-air-round-house-kicks? Probably not. But I’ll continue my suspension of belief until after I see it, because I WILL see it. And as much as I laughed at the classic line “Those who you fight, we will help you fight them”… well, if I were given the chance to kick A along side Jason in a stupid movie, I’d say that awesome line in a heartbeat. Go Jason. Fight the evil Book Twirler. I’ll be there with nachos to see the epic battle.

 Also, I found a hilarious post this morning while looking around for pics of Jason Statham. Check out “The Bare Men’s Chest Movie Rating System”; The Transporter made the cut. Funny stuff.

Friday night the kids and I went up to Salt Lake to go to the movies with my BFF Diana and her boy, Byron. Jachin was so excited to go see Byron; I used that night out as disciplinary leverage for a week and half prior to the outing. It was great. We all ate at the mall food court and then we all went to see “Enchanted”. I don’t know which was better: watching the aforementioned cute piece of fluffy, cotton candy cinema, or watching Zoe watch the cute piece of fluff. Zoe smiled gleefully and clapped her hands and giggled. And when “true love’s first kiss” finally occurred… well, it was all over, people.  She cheered. It was everything a five year old could want in a fairy tale.

The five year old in me loved it, too.

Ok, I have several things I want to post about (one of them, a meme from Bad Mom just waiting to be completed), but I don’t feel so hot, the network card in my laptop isn’t functioning properly, and I’m a little short on time. So for this post, I will just focus on my feelings and confusion about the movie “The Mist”… and I’ll even try to hold back on the spoilers, no matter how much I’d like to warn you.

Saturday night, my bother, Paul, my sis, Sam, and I hit the late showing of “The Mist”. I had previously posted about how I’d read the book (about 17 or 18 years ago, while away from home, camping in the pitch black woods of girls’ camp) and how it was great and scary, blah blah blah, and yay! movie.

All I can say is wow, folks. Maybe I only dreamed that I read the story.  I mean, sure there was a mist. Huge, creepy spiders: check. Unstable religious zealot: check. Lots of blood and gore, including torn torsos: check. But where. the. crap. did the ending come from? When the screen went black and the credits rolled, my brother and sister looked over at me and said, “Why didn’t you tell us that was coming?”, and their faces looked like they might like to dismember me for making them sit through the entirety of the movie. All I could say was, “That WAS NOT how the story ended.” But then I tried to think, and I seriously couldn’t remember how the book ended… only that it wasn’t same as the movie ending. We then left the theater –  by then it was well after midnight — to look for something cheery to do before we went home to hang ourselves. Disneyland was out, because it closes at 10pm and it’s 800 miles away. Vegas was out, because it was every bit as loathsome and depressing the last time I went. So we reluctantly drove home slowly, making jokes about the movie… whatever shred of hilarity we could find.

See the movie if you like — which was creepy and alright — but wow… don’t say I didn’t warn you about the depressing alternate ending.

I normally save any movie opinions for the movie page, but this deserves a post on the front page; if for no other reason than to stand as a FIRM WARNING.

Tonight I drove up to Salt Lake to meet my BFF Diana for her birthday dinner/movie. We had decided on Waitress, because it got such great reviews and because we have some adoration for Nathan Fillion. When we got there, we realized that the movie times Diana had picked up off of the internet were incorrect (damn you, Yahoo Movies!!) so we had to pick something else. We had both been wanting to see Knocked Up—a movie which also got some great reviews. So we bought tickets and got some nastilicious* nachos and sat down and waited to be made to laugh.

This was one funny movie, people. Funny. But WOW were there parts that were hard to watch. This movie should be marketed along side the Ortho Evra patch as a highly effective form of birth control. This movie takes a very honest look at everything pregnancy. Specifically, pregnancy sex… lots of pregnancy sex, and the honest dialog that every pregnant couple has had during pregnancy sex. Dialog which is both funny and excruciating to watch because you’re thinking hey, we had that conversation. and did we look that pathetic during that conversation? And then you realize, yes, you totally looked that pathetic during the pregnancy sex conversation, only you are probably not as hot as Katherine Heigl, which just adds insult to injury.

Now, next I will bring us to the birth scene. A birth scene where you will get multiple Discovery Channel-esque shots of the baby crowning. If you do not know what “crowning baby” means, YOU ARE NOT READY TO SEE IT! If you do know what “crowning baby” means, then you already know that you do not want to see it. Either way, shield your eyes, people. For the love… shield your eyes.

Another difficult part to watch was the whole Paul Rudd / Leslie Mann relationship. (The sister and her husband.) I was able to draw too many parallels to mine own relationship with my own husband. I’m watching thinking: Hey, we’ve been married almost 10 years. Hey, we have two kids. Hey, I’m just now edging past “prime”. Hey, I bitch at Jon like that… holy crap, that’s us! And that’s sad, because, bless them, they give such an honest performance of an imperfect, decade married, couple in love. (The only difference is that my husband has never flipped out and driven to Vegas for a lap dance and Cirque du Soleil on ‘shrooms with his stoner soon-to-be brother in law. I supposed I should thank heaven for that.) Paul Rudd and Leslie Mann were great in this.  

Again I say, go, but be ye warned.

*nastilicious = nasty + delicious (as in movie nachos)

New today-  Check out my Movie Reviews page. Link on the right ——> 

I go to a lot of movies. I love the whole movie experience… especially when it includes those really grossly-awesome movie nachos! w00t! So go ahead and read up on my two-cent reviews. I’ll update weekly…or more, depending on how often I get a hankering for nachos.