Ok, so I got my hair chopped last week. It’s the same short cut I had several years ago, but because we’ve moved and what not, many people have not seen me looking like this.

I love it–it’s totally party in the back and business in the front–but I can tell that other people don’t. But that doesn’t mean they won’t lie about it. “Wow, your hair is darling!” said with just a little too squeaky a voice. Totally fake. I’ve also heard, “Wow, you got your hair cut! Do you like it?” The question is thrown in there in order for the person the gauge where to go next with the conversation. If I respond, “Oh, I love it”, I get a “yeah, it’s great”. If I say something like, “I’m not sure yet. It’s weird going from long hair to a shaved neck”, I will hear something like “yeah, yeah, that’s a big change” or something equally as noncommital.

People are trying to be nice. I get it. They don’t love it. I get it. But the people I respect the most are the ones who have seen me several times and have said absolutely nothing.  Sure, inside they are thinking why did she do that? But the key is that they say nothing. Nothing good or bad. I mean who really wants to hear “Dude! That haircut makes your head look HUGE!”

The old rule of thumb applies. If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. And I’ve encountered quite a few unusually quiet people lately…

Wooo Hooo! As of this morning, my blog has been read in 10 different cities. Imagine my incredible delight when I looked at my pie chart and saw that someone other than me had been reading. The HUGE majority is still me. I can’t get enough of my own stuff.

Thank you, Kentucky. And thank you, N.C. And a special shout out to my peep (yeah, just one person) in Hagerstown.

 Thank you, ten people, for reading my blog. I will remember this day, always, in my heart. It may replace my wedding anniversary.

New today-  Check out my Movie Reviews page. Link on the right ——> 

I go to a lot of movies. I love the whole movie experience… especially when it includes those really grossly-awesome movie nachos! w00t! So go ahead and read up on my two-cent reviews. I’ll update weekly…or more, depending on how often I get a hankering for nachos.

Some days busy moms just don’t get to shower like we would like to. Lack of time, lack of energy, whatever. The following is a small list of reasons you can use, whether they are actually true or not.

 I would have showered this morning, but… 

* I was seriously considering going to the gym. Instead, though, I got on the phone and called my brother, Jim. He says hi.

* I just washed my hair yesterday! Do you know how long it takes to do a proper blow-out? It’s good for at least another day. Come on ladies, you know what I’m talking about.

* I woke up in a bad mood, and B.O. keeps annoying people from approaching me at WalMart.

* A little oil on the skin is good in this dry desert air.

* Look, I had time to either: a) shower  or  b)feed the kids. Only one of these things is criminal when I fail to do it.

Feel free to use any of these. The last one is especially effective with husbands, as they will probably not want their children removed from the home in the midst of a criminal investigation. Suddenly a little greasy hair won’t seem like so big a deal.

One note:  These are for occasional use only. Usually you really should just go shower.

(ps- I actually did shower this morning. seriously.)

Jachin told me today that he doesn’t believe that I love him. I said, “What, are you kidding me? You’re the love of my life.” Then he looked at me with a fairly straight face and said, “Yeah right. You just had me so that you can torture me.”

Huh?

I said, “Where do you hear this stuff?”  He said, “I heard you say it when you were pushing me out. That I was just being born so you can torture me.”

Wow, that kid’s got a good memory…

To sod or not to sod, that is the question. Well, one of the questions. Some of the other questions are: what about fruit trees? Bark or gravel? What kinds of shrubs? What about sprinklers?

The biggest question is: what can we afford? And the answer, as it turns out, is: Not much!

South Beach Diet, Phase 1. Maybe you’ve tried this and maybe you haven’t—but I have. I’ve tried it several times. By about the third day, I am a raving lunatic. I’m like a crazed junkie looking for a quick fix. My drug of choice: sugar. I was so grouchy and obnoxious that my husband looked at me the third day and said “Holy crap, grouch, go have a piece of bread.” So I did. A nice, healthy piece of whole wheat bread. Followed by some pudding, some Reddi Whip straight from the can, and some pumpkin pie…with more Reddi Whip. Here’s my problem: I’m not a casual sugar eater. Much like how many people can’t be “casual smokers”. (Note: please don’t smoke at all!) I’m like one of those crazy office coworkers who go nuts and shoot up the office when they don’t get their smoke break every 10 minutes on the 5’s. Yep, when I fall off the sugar wagon, I don’t just fall. I fling myself violently from the wagon, land on my face (possibly on a sharp-ish rock), and then roll myself down a steep embankment of stinging nettle while twisting my arm in an uncomfortable manner. I can’t just eat a nice, healthy piece of whole wheat bread. I have to chase it with large amounts of baked goods. Namely pie. Pumpkin pie. With Reddi Whip.

Moderation. This is what I’m aiming for. I don’t have to LIVE on the wagon. If I could tumble gently from the wagon every so often, eat a little pie, and then jog back to the wagon and hop back on, I would be completely happy with myself. Because the jogging would counteract some of the badness of the pie. It’s my obsessive, all or nothing personality. I’m not a gentle tumbler. I’m a violent flinger by nature. Is that so bad?