First let me tell you that if you want an uncrowded, line-free Disney vacation, January, mid-week, is the time to go. Even better, go after dark. For the last two hours prior to closing, you’ve practically got the place to yourself. My kids loved the one kiddie-coaster in Toon Town, and one evening they rode it over and over without any lines.

  And I do mean over, and over, and over.

Secondly, let me tell you that Disneyland becomes even less crowded when it is pouring down raining. And for good reason. If you’re thinking, “oh, big deal… a little rain can’t spoil Disneyland”… well, you couldn’t be more wrong. Disneyland can be quite un-enchanting and frickin cold when it’s raining in January. Disneyland sells Disney brand rain ponchos for $50 (or some such crazy price) but we laughed in the frickin cold face of big business and instead packed an umbrella from Target.

It’s hard to tell just how entirely soaked we are… but Jachin’s jacket is normally light blue.

The umbrella worked alright when we weren’t on rides, but what about keeping dry when actually riding the rides? Well, I was one of those annoying people who didn’t want to ride the log ride because the water would make my hair all big and Chia-pet looking. I bundled as best as I could. I thought of wearing the shower cap from the hotel room, but figured that may have looked silly. I opted for this more chic look:

 (ps- my butt got soaked)

I learned on this trip that my children are very brave. Jachin was finally tall enough to ride California Screamin’ on this trip, and he rode it three times in a row. Here was his first time out of the gates:

The key to working up courage for big rides is to first browse the gift shop for courage-encouraging swag. Like this:

Zoe took on Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, Space Mountain, and a bunch of other scary rides. Her courageous attire looked a little different.

 That’s one badass, pink cowgirl. 

She drew the line, though, at Tower of Terror. She would. not. do. it. So I wandered around the gift shop with Zoe, checking out cute Jack Skelington garb while Jachin and Jon rode Tower of Terror. Then I rode the T.o.T. by my lonesome. Jon took a blurry picture of the screen:

That’s me with fun Chia hair on the front row,  grinning like a dork. If I would have known that the flash was coming, I would have done a sweet thumbs-up like the bell-hop in the second row, or a “shocked” face like the other bell-hop in the front row.  But no, that terrified glee was my real face.

Mostly we stuck with the rides that the four of us could do together, which was a lot of them. The kids are both tall enough and gutsy enough to ride mostly everything.

 I love my family.

The ride home was NOT fun. The usual 9 hour car ride took a full 11 hours. There was heavy snow for hours. In our attempts to make “good time” we didn’t stop for meals. The kids ate crackers and Chewy bars and fruit snacks… for 11 hours. It ended with Zoe throwing up in the car. She gave me just enough warning to empty the Target bag (holding all of the snacks) and put it under her mouth. Poor sweetie. On top of the barfing, the windshield washer fluid stopped working. Each time a truck passed us, spraying filthy snow unto the windshield, we were pretty much blind. Jon had to pull over repeatedly and manually pour washer fluid on the windshield to clean it off. It was tedious and a little scary. When we finally pulled into the garage at 11:30pm, the kids cheered.

As we tucked ourselves into our own beds in our own home last night, Jachin said, “It’s nice to go to Disneyland, but it’s nice to sleep in my own bed again, too.” It was the perfect amount of trip; just enough to make home seem really nice again.

We returned late last night from our trip to Disneyland. I had intended to blog daily while there, letting you in on all of the rides, and making quips about the price of all things Disney. But because of the price of all things Disney, we had to forgo the $14.99 daily internet fee.

I will sit later today to do a proper Disneyland blitz post. A small teaser, though, the trip included lots of Dramamine, lots of rollercoasters (my kids are brave!), rain, hotel shuttles, more rain, and an 11 hour car ride home last night that featured heavy snow, an inept driver flipping us the bird (when he really should have had both hands on the wheel), and vomited Cheez Its in Target bags. Have I said too much??

I’m off to put in a load of darks.

Jon got a wild idea about doing our part to conserve energy. It wasn’t so much in order to make smaller our carbon footprint or any such nonsense; it was in hopes of making smaller our power bill. I know, we are shallow and ignorant. Anyhoo, we went to Costco a few weeks ago and bought 5 boxes of the compact fluorescent bulbs and replaced every single bulb in the house. (We then filled up 1/5 of our local landfill with the old, non-economical bulbs. Take that, carbon footprint.)

The immediate impression that we had was that our house was overall “dimmer”. The compacts aren’t as bright. I now find myself walking into things, knocking over plant stands, and banging my shins on furniture corners. Which is kind of weird, because the furniture hasn’t moved or anything… But I now walk around my house with a perpetual squint, which really does nothing to improve the crow’s feet around my aging eyes.

The second thing we noticed is that there is a nano-second delay when you flip the light switch, which also feels a little foreign when you are used to the light flooding the room immediately upon flipping the switch. When I walk into the bathroom and flip the switch, I will occasionally walk into the toilet bowl before the light comes on. I think the toilet bowl may have actually been moved, though… aliens or prankster pixies or something. The bowl seems — in the dull glow of the bathroom light — to be situated about 1/8 of an inch further to left than it was when we moved into the house. (I will further investigate this anomaly at a later time.)

The third thing I noticed is that the light in the master bathroom is terrible. It has a yellow, pallid glow that makes me cringe when I look at myself. (At least, I think I’m cringing; like I said, it’s hard to see myself.) Each morning I imagine that I look jaundiced and therefore overcompensate with the blue-hued make-up. The end result is me leaving the house looking like this guy:

He had to drink colloidal silver daily for 8 years to look like this.

I only had to change my light bulbs.

The plus side to all of the shin-whacking and hideous outward appearance is that over 10 years time, we will save about 46 cents on our power bill. Again, I’m kidding… it will actually be more like 96 cents.  Which is nothing to shake a dim, jaundiced stick at.