Tonight at bedtime I was sitting on Jachin’s bed, chatting about the events of the day. Wednesdays are one of my volunteer days, so we talked a little bit about things that went on in the classroom today. Then the conversation turned to puppy love. I asked him who his current crush is. Even in the dark, I could tell that he was a little embarrassed; he whacked me with his pillow.

I’ve noticed, though, that the previous playfulness between he and Rachael has sort of cooled… since she stopped wearing her reindeer antler headband… So I started going through the list of girls in his class. After a few”no’s” I got to Audrey. “No,” he said, “she’s Mikey’s crush.” Mikey is Jachin’s best friend; the only other child I know who shares Jachin’s insane love of Super Mario Bros.

“Mikey likes Audrey?” I asked.

“Yeah.” Then all of the sudden he blurted out, “Mikey and I are going to move to Mexico.”

“Why?” I asked.

“Because in Mexico you can get married when you’re 10.”

“You don’t want to get married when you’re 10,” I said.

“Sure I do. Why wouldn’t I?”

“Why do you want to get married when you’re 10? How will you get a job and support your family?”

“Oh, easy,” he said, matter of factly. “In Mexico you can get a job when you’re, like, 4.”

I thought of my sweet son, standing along a chicken filled street next to his ten year old wife, selling Chicklets, and I shivered a little.

While I’m happy that my son doesn’t seem to have any sort of commitment phobias, I told him to tell me before he and Mikey move to Mexico… so that I can ground him from leaving the house and the country.

Most of you with children have probably heard of — or even practice — the Love and Logic method of parenting. It’s a method that teaches parents to respond to undesirable behavior with a calm and rational head. The idea is to allow your children to make mistakes, and then allow them to also discover the natural consequences to their actions. It all sounds fine and good, and it’s possible that it even works many times. But I’m currently at a stand still with my 8 year old over a certain issue, and there doesn’t seem to be enough love or logic to solve it.

This is a conversation that took place a couple of months ago, on a cold, snowy afternoon:

Jachin (walking through the front door after school, shivering, his coat shoved into his backpack): Man, it’s freezing outside!

Me: Yeah, I know. It’s winter. Why is your coat stuffed into your backpack instead of being on your body?

Jachin: Why didn’t you pick me up? Did you want me to freeze to death?

Me: You would have been fine if you would have worn a coat over your short sleeved shirt.

Jachin: I wouldn’t have to wear a stupid coat if you would just pick me up from school.

At this point, I’m thinking that eventually, after walking home a couple of times without a coat on, the whole “logic” thing will illuminate my sweet boy’s mind, and he will wear the stinkin’ coat. If the choice is for one to walk home in the winter without a coat, the natural consequence would be for one to freeze one’s butt off.

But this has gone on all winter. For months. I don’t know why I bought the stupid coat. On the very coldest of days, he will put the hood part of the coat over his head, and then leave the rest of the coat dangling off the back of him like a cape. His arms are always the appendages that take the brunt of the nasty weather. When I asked him why in the world would he go to the effort of putting the hood on, but then not put his arms in the sleeves he actually said to me “Men don’t wear coats.” First I pointed out that at 8 years old he is not a man, and then pointed out that his dad — whose age does indeed qualify him as a man — has more than one coat and wears them when it’s frickin freezing. But this seemingly flawless logic did nothing to sway him, either.

And so the cycle continues. He comes through the door in the afternoon with blue arms and gives me the old “Why didn’t you pick me up from school?” And I respond with the whole “I’m giving your coat to orphans since you don’t wear it”.

The other day I came across a picture that shed some light on my current dilemma:

This is Zoe at about 18 months of age (I know, it’s hard to recognize her without the hair), skimming through the Love and Logic book. This is when it hits me that the kids are already on to me! They know my plan. They’ve thought through my method, and they’ve been one step ahead of me the entire time… just waiting for me to give in. Waiting for crazy mom to crack!

So my resolve grew stronger; I would stick true to my course! I would not give in, or pick up my freezing child from school! And the impasse continues…

And Jachin still apparently lacks the logic to wear his coat, and I — obviously — still lack the sufficient love for Jachin to pick him up from school. He is not so smart, and I’m a heartless wench. And for this knowledge, I paid $19.99 for the hard copy.

Yay for Love and Logic!

Bad Mom put up this fun Movie Quiz, and I — being the big, fat, follower that I am — totally copied it. Well, I mean, not word for word, or using the same movies, because that would be dumb and not fun. You: Play along!! The rules are as follows:

For the blogger:

• Pick fifteen of your favorite movies.
• Go to IMDB and find a quote from each movie.
• Post them on your blog for everyone to guess.
• Fill in the film title once it’s guessed, along with the name of the smarty-pants guesser.

This part is for the reader (y’know, you):

• No Googling or using IMDB search functions. No cheaters, please.
• Leave your answer(s) in the comments.

Keep your hands and legs inside the blog at all times. Here we go:

1) Ok. Orphans! Listen to Ignacio. I know it is fun to wrestle. A nice piledrive to the face… or a punch to the face… but you cannot do it. Because, it is in the Bible not to wrestle your neighbour (Nacho Libre, by Stu)
2) You should’ve gone to China, you know, ’cause I hear they give away babies like free iPods. You know, they pretty much just put them in those t-shirt guns and shoot them out at sporting events. (Juno, by Stu… again)

3) Dear Baby, I hope someday somebody wants to hold you for 20 minutes straight and that’s all they do. They don’t pull away. They don’t look at your face. They don’t try to kiss you. All they do is wrap you up in their arms and hold on tight, without an ounce of selfishness in it. (Waitress, by my bff Diana)

4) You know my girlfriend is dead. She fell off a cliff and died on impact.  (Happy Gilmore, yay Bill! I was starting to think no one would get it…)

5) Before Judith, our fun level was at an all time high. Ninety-three, it is now an eight. (Saving Silverman, by Leslie)

6) Get off of me, don’t you touch me. It is over between us, Kate. Nobody makes me bleed my own blood – nobody! (Dodgeball, by Leslie)

7) Bastian made many other wishes, and had many other amazing adventures – before he finally returned to the ordinary world. But that’s… another story. (The Never Ending Story, by Nerak)

8 ) Assimilate this! (Star Trek: First Contact, by Nerak… she didn’t get the exact title, but I don’t think anyone else would.)

9) You hear that Mr. Anderson?… That is the sound of inevitability… It is the sound of your death… Goodbye, Mr. Anderson… (The Matrix, by Stu)

10) Look at you, you have a baby… In a bar. (Sweet Home Alabama, by Nerak)

11) Oh, nonsense. This is nothing compared to the twig of ’93. (A Bug’s Life, by Diana)

12) You all wanna be looking very intently at your own belly buttons. I see a head start to rise, violence is going to ensue. Probably guessed we mean to be thieving here but what we’re after is not yours. So, let’s have no undue fussing. (Serenity… my favorite movie… by Diana)

13) Witness Exhibit A: My 8th Grade science project – a working rain forest. Mike Dexter threw it out a third story window. It rains here no more. Witness Exhibit B: An eye patch I wore for a month after Mike beaned me with a raisin in home ec. My parents took me to a 3D film. I saw no third dimension. And of course, how could I forget the pudding incident? I know no one else has. Well gentlemen, tonight, Mike Dexter will know humiliation. Tonight Mike Dexter will know ridicule. Tonight is the night we fight back. Tonight is our independence night.

14) I flunk English, I’m outta here. I gotta get a job, and you know what that means. That’s right, they start me at the drive-up window and I gradually work my way up from shakes to burgers, and then one day my lucky break comes: the french fry guy dies and they offer me the job. But the day I’m supposed to start some men come by in a black Lincoln Continental and tell me I can make a quick 300 just for driving a van back from Mexico. When I get out of jail I’m 36 years old. Living in a flop house. No job. No home. No upward mobility. Very few teeth. And then one day they find me, face down in the gutter, clutching a bottle of paint thinner and why? Because you wouldn’t help me in English. (The Sure Thing, by Sam)

15) The fact that you’re not answering leads me to believe you’re either (a) not at home, (b) home but don’t want to talk to me, or (c) home, desperately want to talk to me, but trapped under something heavy. If it’s either (a) or (c), please call me back. (When Harry Met Sally, by Stu… who apparently likes many of the same movies I do.)

Though there are movies from a few genres, most are comedies… since I do love the zippy one-liners.

Good luck, and guess away!