Hi. Our family loves attention. We need to have it all the time. From everyone we know. And even some people we don’t know.

Usually we acquire this attention by being generally awesome. Winning awards. Collecting trophies. Wearing fashionable clothes. Saving puppies. Thinking of creative ways to alleviate world hunger. Awesome stuff like that.

But when these standard practices don’t afford us the attention we think we deserve, we pull out the big guns. And our big guns are: going to the hospital with some sort of weird condition that has doctors and nurses scratching their heads.

(Our goal is to have one of our family members make an appearance in a medical journal… that would REALLY get us some attention.)

Last spring Jon went into the hospital (he drove himself…) with a weird heart condition. People were all like “OMG, WTF? R U guys ok?” and other misspelled tidings of worry. Facebook was all a-Twitter (get it?). His heart thing gave us some nice attention. For a while. But then summer came and people were paying attention to the nice weather and going to the pool and having picnics and taking vacations, and our family was kinda falling by the wayside and not making much note-worthy headway on the whole curing global hunger thing. We began feeling attention starved.

By the fall, it was pretty bad. Wearing fashionable clothes… not working. Saving puppies… nothing. In late September, sweet little Deac had had enough of people not paying attention. He took one for the team and flung himself off the bed, causing a rad head injury. I don’t know what would have happened otherwise. Without all the pics of Deac with a neck brace and a “brain drain”, our family may have fallen completely off the attention radar.

But then Christmas rolled around. People were talking about this awesome guy named Santa and this really cool baby named Jesus, and our family was feeling really left out again. Pay attention to us, we beckoned. But nay, there was no room at the inn (where “room” = “attention”, and the “inn” = “people’s minds”). So Jon decided to make another go at it. (He’s a real peach.) While, in truth, this latest health issue has been plaguing him for several months, he wasn’t admitted to the hospital for it until this past Tuesday. Which was his mom’s birthday. Because the whole thing was set up to steal his mom’s thunder on her birthday. (We are really good planners.) I even got to burst into her dining room during her birthday dinner, ding a fork on a glass, announce that Jon had a blood clot in his liver, and hand-off my baby for her to babysit. On her birthday.

How’s that for attention?

And now it’s New Year’s Eve and he’s still in the hospital. We are trying to steal New Year’s Eve’s thunder. Take that, New Year’s Eve!! (Note: New Year’s Eve will now be called “Jon’s Clot Eve”. You celebrate by curling into the fetal position, clutching your stomach, refusing to eat, and having intravenous narcotics administered to you. It’s not a bad holiday, really. Oh, but then you also have to have blood thinners administered… and that’s done by giving you a shot IN YOUR STOMACH, twice a day. For several weeks. I guess that part of Jon’s Clot Eve is actually kind of a downer…)

Pay Attention to Us!! We are running out of ideas! Up next, though: I contract Scarlet Fever, gout, and swine flu… perhaps with a side of lock jaw.

Let’s see how many Facebook comments and ward casseroles we can get for that one…

I finished the Quiet Book. Before Christmas. I also finished the projects for the big kids. Before Christmas. (Granted, I was still swearing and yanking and adjusting and crying over Jachin’s quilt binding on Christmas Eve…)

Behold:

Deacon’s Quiet Book!

Bound, and with most pages completed (though the clock’s hands keep falling off. I need to adjust the brad and eyelet).

Jachin’s video game character quilt!

Here are all of the characters:

quilt2.jpg

If you look at this quilt even a little bit closely, you will find a plethora of mistakes… luckily, Jachin doesn’t seem to care.

And Zoe and Julie’s aprons!

See the cute ribbon I found for the ties??

Here’s a close-up of Julie’s. Both aprons have fake pockets and everything.

Again, if you look closely, it’s not good. But Zoe doesn’t care and Julie’s eyes are made of glass, so she can’t look closely.

Pigs flew Christmas morning, and fresh bacon was had by all. God bless us, every one.

Deacon turned one year old on Tuesday. It was awesome. I can’t believe how fast the year went by. It seems like just last month he and I were snuggling in the hospital together, watching the snow falling heavily outside, and having A Christmas Carol on repeat in our hospital room.

His birthday cupcake was delicious.

So was his new ball.

And here’s video of him cautiously eating his cupcake. Notice how he says “more”. He can also say “all done” when he’s had enough to eat… but he never got around to saying “all done” with the cupcake. He just kept eating it until it was gone.

Happy Birthday, little guy.