10:01 pmIt

Confession: I’ve never read a Nicholas Sparks novel. Not a one. I’ve seen a few of the movies based on his books… and, y’know, m’eh. I didn’t cry at The Notebook. That may make me a soulless robot, but it remains a fact.

Another confession: I’ve thought Nicholas Sparks is sort of an egotistical jerk for sometime now. I remember reading an interview he did a while back where he mentioned having a “formula” for cranking out the love stories. Sort of like, Yeah, I totally write a ton of awesome books… and it’s not even hard. Change a name here, plug in a crisis there, and viola!

Any mega-successful author who admits to using formulaic writing to rake in the dough loses respect points in my book.

But umm, this interview??? Is so revealing that it’s hilarious. I seriously laughed. Out loud. And I don’t know that that’s ever the reaction ‘ol Nick is going for. Because he takes himself very seriously. As a very serious author who writes very serious content that is NOT romance.

To me, Nicholas Sparks is to the writing world what Tom Cruise is to the religious one: rich, beyond annoying, and every time he opens his mouth something stupid comes out of it.

(In case you missed it, Interview. Here.)



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1:38 pmSt.

Today is a very weird-feeling day.

Number 1 (though not most importantly), it’s St. Patrick’s Day. So I made sure that the kids and I were wearing green this morning. (Jachin would not wear a green shirt, so he walked out the door this morning with a black t-shirt and a lime green Omniture scarf wrapped around his neck. It was equal parts hilarious and oddly stylish.)

Number 2: I’m sort of a frickin wreck. I’m going on nearly zero sleep, because Jon was re-admitted to the U of U hospital last night. He’s still sick. I don’t know what else to say. ~327 sweet, caring people ask me every day how he’s doing, and I have nothing to tell them. Nothing. Nothing new. Nothing different. I finally broke down and flipped out in the car last night as I left the hospital. I was bawling as I squealed out of the parking garage, nearly taking out a family who were having a calm smoke break together on the curb. I suspect they reported me to the front desk, assuming that I had just escaped from the mental ward.

Number 3: I am so, so dang proud of my little brother, Paul. Today he entered the Missionary Training Center (that’s MTC to all of you hepcat Mormons), marking the official start of his LDS mission. He’s being sent to Orlando, Florida. In a few weeks he’ll be walking the streets, sporting the little black “Elder Brandenburg” name tag. If you see him there, please be kind. Feed him a meal, if you can. And if you utterly do not want to hear about the Book of Mormon, at least don’t swear at him and slam the door in his face. (Thank you in advance for that.)

Here he is (green tie and all) with Jachin, in front of the MTC, giving a manly fist bump.

fist_bump.jpg

And here is the most awesome picture of both me and my brother… taken by Jachin.

eyesclosed.jpg

I know, right? I can only assume that the flattering photography is retribution for making him do a manly fist bump with his uncle.

No, I didn’t look at the picture directly after Jachin took it.

Yes, I should have.

So that’s kind of today: sleepy, weary, worried, proud, blurry… and green. Happy St. Patty’s Day.



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11:41 pmIt

I’m awake. Again. Bored. Feeling like I’ve reached the end of the internets… read everything there is to read and seen everything there is to see.

Ahh, but lame movies. There are always new lame movies coming out. And feeling sleepy and snarky at the same time equals… something.

The new Wall Street movie?? Looks AWESOME! Where awesome = possibly the cheesiest movie to hit theaters this calendar year.
Oh, Shia, Shia, Shia… you know I love you. For reals, I do. I’ve loved ya since your Even Stevens days on the Disney Channel (sorta comedy genius… for ‘tweens… or grown up women who kind of miss being ‘tweens). But if you keep cranking out the stinker movies, I’m going to start losing confidence and respect for you.

Here is the AWESOME!, ACTION-FILLED!, CATCH-PHRASE-BLEEDING!, MOTORCYCLE DRIVING! trailer for Wall Street:Money Never Sleeps. Pay attention now, because you have to listen very carefully to figure out exactly what the movie is about…

It’s not about the money, it’s about you and me. Oh no, wait, it’s about doing the right thing. No, no, no, wait, it’s about the game… I don’t know… it’s about something. And it has MOTORCYCLES! so whatever.

Watch and figure it out for yourself… if you can make it through the whole 2:28 of cheeseball glory.

Shia… next time around, maybe think romantic comedy.



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7:37 pmConfucius

I found a fortune cookie paper while sweeping the kitchen floor tonight (which is weird because we haven’t had Chinese food for approximately 6 months). I closed my eyes in a superstitious manner and secretly told myself that whatever the paper said would be true for me. I exhaled, opened my eyes and read it:

“Good luck will be with you this month.”

Even when adding “in bed” at the end, it’s a big fat liar of a fortune.

I punched the fortune cookie paper in the mouth and threw it away.

The end.



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10:40 amCompiling

Undiagnosed abdominal pain in November: $2,800
One hospital stay in December: $4,700
Moving to a different hospital: $14,500
Unnecessary appendectomy: $18,200
Most recent hospital stay: still calculating…

Finally getting my husband to a hospital where he’s surrounded by specialized doctors who know what the crap they’re doing:

FRICKIN’-A PRICELESS!



Comments (4) Posted in Miscellany