Dudes! (Sorry, I know I call you guys “dudes” way too much.)

I finished my first draft. Yes-huh! I know, I honestly didn’t think I could do it, either. I never finish anything, ever. Well, that’s not entirely true. One time I was really hungry and I actually finished an entire Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese from McDonalds. True story.

But after six months and 57,451 words, I wrote the last line of my novel this afternoon. Yay!

It’s still very rough. Several of my characters changed over the course of the story… names, races, “motivations”… So if you read it beginning to end right now it might be a titch confusing. I’m going through one run of revisions before I let it out to the masses. (And by masses, I mean a select few who actually want to subject themselves to such a thing.)

To put it into perspective, let’s say that this picture represents a detailed outline of an awesome novel:

And let’s say that this picture represents what you’d like your awesome, richly written novel to look like when it’s publisher-ready:

Now, using these pictures as a comparison, here is roughly what my novel looks like at the moment:

I know, kinda gross, right? That’s what I’m saying…

But dude! I finished my draft! My skeleton has muscles!

And wasting no time at all, I made myself write that last line before I moved on to next shiny idea that’s been percolating for the last few days. I wrote the first two chapters for that today. I’m kind of on a roll.

She’s made of light and tiptoes on my shoulder, whispering and giggling in my ear with a voice that sounds like twinkling and dew drops.

And tonight, she’s prompting my eyes to stay open… urging me to type just a little bit more.

If I break another 1,000 words before falling asleep, she tells me I get to dance with her on the back porch and eat a big bowl of Grape-Nut ice cream.

I’m trying really — yaaawwwn — hard.

Okay, okay… I said that I was staying away from the blog and Facebook until my draft was finished… and it’s SO DANG CLOSE…

but of course, here I am. On the blog. (And lots of inane status updates on FB.) Before the draft is complete.

I’m really bad at grounding myself. Well, I’m okay with saying “Self, you’re grounded”, but then it’s the follow-through that I stink at.

Anyhoo, I’m breaking my silence to post up a link to a hilarious vblog by Jackson Pearce. (She’s down there in the blog roll, if you haven’t checked out her blog before.) It’s about writer’s block. Something that I’ve struggled with like most people struggle with weight or nicotine addiction or Farmville.

Check ‘er out. She’s hilarious, gorgeous, talented, and likes her breakfast pretty… which I totally admire.

Okay, back to my book. Dudes, I’m close. I was up until nearly 4am last night writing the big final fight chapter.

I will now take the opportunity to ask if anyone out there would care to try out a crit reading. My draft will be ready for a read in about a month or so. I’m willing to swap with fellow writers… my first 50 pages for your first 50 pages. No strings attached. If you don’t like my style of writing, or you don’t like my feedback (or vice-versa) we go our separate ways… no questions asked, and with no tears. (Or if you’re a non-writer friend of mine and you just want to give my story a once-over without swapping me 50 pages of your journal entries or lasagna recipes, that’s fine, too.)

Also, completely unrelated: we are rat-sitting while my sister and her boys are camping. And I just had a rat wander over my lap and arms dragging rat urine all over me. My gag reflex is workin’ overtime.

So to sum up: draft almost completed, hilarious video on writer’s block, wanna be a critique partner?, and I’m covered in rat pee.