This is the face that slobbered at my knees all morning… pudgy hands clutching at my pajama pants… hoarse, choking sobs echoing through the kitchen…

All because I would not — would NOT — allow him to eat chocolate pudding for breakfast.

I instead forced him to eat banana pancakes slathered with a liter of syrup. Forced him, guys.

Votes are in: Worst. Mama. Ever.

A friend of mine sent me to a Facebook page called The Ambien Hotline. It’s basically a group of people who share their stories of Ambien-related hijinks. (One chick said that, post-Ambien, she walked to her mom’s house at 2am and asked to borrow the remote control.)

I believe you all remember my list of Ambien-related weirdness, right? If not, go ahead and refresh your memory.

Anyhoo, this particular Facebook page also had pics and cartoons, and the one cartoon — I swear to you — was drawn with me in mind.

It even looks like me! Quilted grandma robe and all… plus, many times when I’m out strolling around outside the city, carrying my laptop and wearing my quilted bathrobe, I run into three-foot-tall talking rats and their three-eyed frog alien friends. And they often laugh at me.

Come to think of it, maybe sleep blogging isn’t really my biggest problem…

There was a time (about two whole months ago), when I was naive enough to think that once I had a rough draft finished, the rest would be a breeze.

Stop laughing. It’s not nice to laugh at people who are idiots by accident.

So it turns out that revision? Is a JERKY PAIN IN MY BACKSIDE! Going back over the words I’d slaved over for months and months, I read them now and say to myself, “Pshaw, self, you are such an amateur! Who wrote this? A second-grader? On allergy medication?”

Then I get it in my mind that everything I’ve written is crap, and that I should just shred my manuscript and recycle it as hen-house bedding. (y’know… so it can get pooped on? by lots of fat birds?)

But *sigh* instead I try to push my way through it (partially because we don’t actually own any hens). I write different scenes from different character perspectives just to get it all nice and fleshed out, hoping that one day this dumb manuscript will be able to pass for something readable.

Also, I doodle a lot, y’know, when I can’t think of words to write.

Unfortunately, I don’t really know how to draw anything but the swirly-things. So my notebook is full of them. And when revision becomes too much and I desperately need a break, I go outside… where I promptly draw swirly-things on my driveway with sidewalk chalk.

No, seriously.

On a totally unrelated note, I caught someone in our garage trying to steal my car. And though he had the keys, was in the front seat, and knew how to honk the horn… well, he couldn’t seem to figure out how to actually steal the thing.

I went out to get a closer look at the punk.

He was so cute that I couldn’t press charges. I agreed to let him off with a warning if he’d come live with me forever and let me smooch his little cheeks whenever I darn well pleased.

It was an agreeable agreement.

And now, back to drawing swirlies… err, I mean, revising.

hello. i have not written a blog for a long time now. but i am writing another one. now, as you all know, by the title, i have lots of things to talk about. now the first thing is… … … SCHOOL IS COMING!!!! WOO! now, i am very happy and excited about this because i will be in 3rd grade. hip-hip, hooray!

anyway, I’ve actually been reading something this summer. but I’m reading it way out of order. it’s called ”Allie Finkles rules for girls”. first i read the 2nd one then i started reading the 3rd one AND i started reading the 1st one too. but, like most book series, it doesn’t get all confusing when you read them out of order. but book #2 and #3 were library books. i finished #2 and returned it to the library. but #3 isn’t due yet, so i still have time to read it. #1 is a book from the book store. i still don’t have #4 and #5 though. #5 JUST CAME OUT! it was at the book store, but is was only in hard-cover so i could only get #1 ’cause #5 was way too expensive. it was like $16.00 bucks, dude!

anyway, my mom asked her one friend if she could give me art lessons because she really likes to paint, just like me! my other friend might do it too, but who knows? i don’t! here, look at some of my paintings. (i taught myself)!

k, thats all. see’a!