So you know how I was all excited about finishing the first draft of my first novel?
I was all “Yay! I’m awesome! Blah blah, more awesome! And also, awesome!”
And then I let it sit to marinate for a little while, moving on to other ideas. Then I went back to revise. And guess what I learned while revising?
Holy crap, my story sucks. Big time.
I got half way through revisions and realized that it wasn’t really getting any better with revision. Kind of like if you’re working with a stew with a puke base, it won’t matter how much you season it, or add fresh herbs or tender meats, or reduce it, thicken it with corn starch or thin it with chicken broth…
It’s still made of puke, dude.
So I put it away and moved on. While I won’t say that I’ve completely thrown my first novel under the bus, I will say that I’ve taped it to the front of the bus and told the bus driver not to worry about driving too carefully. If it gets ruined in the rain, or gets blood stains from smashed pedestrians, or runs head first into a cement barrier… well, I won’t cry over it. In fact, I wouldn’t cry even if I ended up taping it to the front of that speeding bus that Sandra Bullock steered while Keanu Reeves shouted things at her and Dennis Hopper said that there was a bomb on it and Cameron from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off was a wimpy passenger.
I wouldn’t even give a care if it was that bus.
Because we’re moving on, people. I’m 5 or 6 chapters into a new novel… completely different, and hopefully less sucky. This one does not take place in a parallel world, nor does it have flesh-eating creatures or elven people who speak in ridiculous dialog. Nope. This one is different… though not completely “realistic”, because regular lives are realistic and — yawn — that’s boring.
This novel is — among other things — a ghost story. A story of unrequited love, mysterious deaths, creepy unwanted inheritances, and redemption.
Sounds better, right? That’s because I’m pretty sure it is. I’m really hoping that this one doesn’t end up taped to the front of a bus that can’t slow down.
But we’ll see. I’m coming up with goofy metaphors just in case…