11:04 pm February 9, 2011Answers to questions I imagine you’re asking
Disappointment over my lack of posting has been uttered by more than one person. You may have noticed that when you click over to my blog, there’s not much more than the chirp of crickets and the occasional cobweb.
It’s the winter funk, guys. It’s got me tightly in its grasp.
So let’s play catch-up with a little Q&A. These aren’t actual Q’s that anyone’s asked me, but they’re Q’s I imagine you’re asking in your mind.
Q: Where have you been?
A: I wish I could say somewhere tropical, but no. Mostly I’ve been here. But when I’m not here, it’s a safe bet that you can find me at Target, walking in circles because I’ve forgotten the shopping list.
Q: What is this winter funk of which you speak?
A: A debilitating kick in the pants that makes it hard to even get out to Target some days. And when I do make it to Target, I usually forget my list. Or my kid. Or my pants. It could just be early onset of dementia… which, if you ask my mother, is probably caused from my drinking too much Diet Coke.
Q: Read any good books lately?
A: Uh-huh.
Q: …umm, can you maybe tell us what they are?
A: Sure. And thanks for keeping your questions specific. I’m currently reading:
100 short stories by Ray Bradbury
Full Dark, No Stars… Stephen King short stories
Letters to a Young Poet… Rainer Maria Rilke
Q: Is it true that you’re talking about moving to Japan for six months? What’s that about?
A: Yes… But I must put in the disclaimer that it’s extremely tentative. It would be for Jon’s work. We’re still trying to see if it’s financially feasible. Rentals in Tokyo are pricey… and sound even more pricey when you read the prices in yen.
Q: How are your kids?
A: Rad. Jachin is growing more and more snarky and angsty each day as he draws nearer to his 12th birthday. Zoe just had six teeth yanked, and will probably end up with just as much orthodontic wear as her mother had (think young Willy Wonka). Deacon has added lots of phrases to his chatty repertoire… ones that have been influenced by those around him, such as: “I know!”, “That’s annoying!”, and “Don’t say no to me!” (I should point out, though, that he pronounces it “that ‘nnoying!” So it makes it kind of cute that he’s being all loud and obnoxious.)
Q: We heard that you’ve reached a new height of cheapness… could you explain that?
A: Sure. I’ve recently discovered that Twizzler’s Nibs come in huge strands in bags. I now buy the big bag of Nibs strands and cut them into Nib-sized pieces with a chef’s knife and put them in plastic baggies.
Q: Are you serious?
A: There are two things I don’t joke about. Snack foods is one of them.
Q: So what’s the other one?
A: None of your business at this time.
Q: Written any good books lately?
A: I’m slowly revising Pond of Pretties… again. I’ve started another one that, at the moment, doesn’t have a name. But the main character’s name is Punky, so I guess I’ll call it The Punky Project for now. Also, I have some swirling ideas and chapter bits for a third book.
Q: When was the last time Jon was in the hospital?
A: Tonight. But he’s home and loaded up with feel-goodies and sleeping soundly. Here’s hoping it was just a blip on the radar.
Q: What are you wearing?
A: Santa pajama bottoms, a hoodie, and striped socks. And it’s actually much less sexy than it sounds.
Q: We’ve heard that there’s a video of your two-year-old doing dishes in his pajamas. Is that true?
A: