Jachin is at that age; 8 1/2. Third grade. His peers are telling him stories; stories of parents who sneakily place presents under the Christmas tree, all under a shroud of merry deceit.
“Do you really believe in Santa?” he asked me, hoping for a truthful answer from his wise, all-knowing mother.
“I don’t know,” I answered. “What do you think?”
“I think he’s an old myth.”
“An old myth?” Jon asked.
“Well, yeah,” Jachin said seriously. “Like, he used to be real — in, like, the 80’s — but then he did what all old people do; he’s dead.”
“What if Santa is like the Dread Pirate Roberts?” Jon posed thoughtfully. “Like, before Santa dies, he appoints someone else to be the next Santa.”
“Nahh,” said Jachin, shrugging off Jon’s logic. “He’s just an old myth.”
Later Jachin tells me of his wise friend, Rachel, who sits at his table at school and often wears headbands with reindeer antlers attached. She covertly set up camp behind her couch last year and caught her parents red-handed as they came out to the Christmas tree at two in the morning, arms filled with presents labeled “from Santa”.
“Maybe she was naughty and Santa wasn’t going to bring her anything. Maybe the only way she was going to get any presents was if her parents gave them to her,” I said, grasping for straws.
Jachin gave me a look like are you freakin kidding me, mom? “Mom, please,” he said seriously. “Rachel is a responsible woman.” And she is; I’ve seen her. She wears her reindeer antlers in a very responsible fashion.
But I had to question myself about why I was trying so hard to fight the inevitable. It happens. Kids talk, and you learn things. I don’t remember how old I was exactly, but I do remember when I asked my mom straight up “is Santa real?” and she gave me the mysterious “I don’t know, what do you think?”, and I just about went nuts because no one would give me a straight answer when I really wanted to know. And here I am, doing the same thing to my oldest kid. Moms just don’t like to see that bridge crossed, I guess. I have to admit that this Santa thing is harder on me than him losing his first tooth.
Zoe, on the other hand, had her belief solidified last night when Santa showed up at the church Christmas party (looking oddly like our next door neighbor, Chuck, in a red suit and fake beard), calling Zoe by name and asking her to open the big present for all of the kids.
“Mom,” she said, coming up to me excitedly, “I forgot that Santa knows everyone’s name, but he knew my name! He said ‘Zoe’ and pointed to me!”
“Wow,” said Jachin sarcastically. “Or else it’s someone who knows you, and they’re dressed up like Santa.” I covertly kicked him in the shin, but it wasn’t necessary. Zoe looked at him like that was the dumbest thing in the world. “Someone I know? Give me a break.”
Jachin, however, has his heart set on camping out behind the couch to see who really puts the presents under the tree in the middle of the night. And he’s asked me to camp out with him to nab the gift-leaver.
“How will that work,” I asked, “if I supposedly have to get up at two in the morning to put the presents under the tree?”
“Oh, yeah…”
That one made his head spin for a moment.
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With two older siblings I didn’t have to have that talk with mom. I think I just knew from a very early age. Sometimes I’m torn when Parley questions things like, “Why is Santa’s wrapping paper the same as ours?” I feel bad lying to him but I do it anyway, I don’t want to be a scrooge.
Comment by Sam — December 12, 2007 @ 2:56 pm
Even when I thought Santa might not be real, I hung on to the hope. I was afraid that if I told my parents I didn’t believe, I wouldn’t get the presents.
I can remember trying to stay up and catch Santa leaving presents. I never made it, though.
Comment by Leslie — December 12, 2007 @ 9:33 pm
Lexi is still holding on at 9; I think she just wants it to be true.
And Zack, like Zoe, well, it’s SO TRUE. Don’t even suggest anything else lest his head blow up.
(Although all the Miltons agree that the mall Santa is a place keeper, helping the real one out.)
Also, thanks for the kind birthday wishes. ox
Comment by Mama Milton — December 13, 2007 @ 2:53 pm
i brought my oldest one into the fold of silence in order to preserve the delight of the younger ones. he’s totally into, he believes in a whole new way.
Comment by kate — December 13, 2007 @ 6:54 pm