On the fourth day of school, Zoe came pedaling down the sidewalk towards home. I was standing there, getting the mail, waving to her and Jachin as they came closer to the house. She pedaled up to me and I said, “Hey, sweetie. How was your day?”

The first words out of her mouth:

“There is a cute boy in my class that I like.”

No “hi”, no “hey mom, I have a big bomb to drop on you”. Nothing like that. And I’m thinking, sheesh, four days in public school and she already has the hots for someone. That must be some kind of record.

Though I was not ready for any of it, I asked probing questions… while trying not to sound too probing, or too much like a mom.

“What’s his name?” She told me, but to protect the poor boy’s identity I will just call him Hottie McFirst-Grader.

“What does he look like?” I asked.

“Well,” she said, gazing into the sky, “he’s kind of hard to describe.”

All the really hot ones are.

So I told her that was great, or something… maybe I told her I was having a heart attack, I can’t remember exactly. Then I ran inside and called Jon on his cell and blabbed the whole thing to him. Totally betraying my daughter’s trust, sure. But I was totally freaking out, mind you. Jon was all like, “Sheesh, tell her we’re not ready for all of that.”

But I didn’t tell her anything of the sort. I let her sit in her room, humming a tune, making him a card from her Card-Maker kit. She decorated the envelope with stickers that ranged in sayings from “Best Wishes” to “Love You”. She brought it to me to show me.

“Wow,” I said. “What does the card say?”

“You can carefully open it,” she said.

So I did. The card said: Dear Hottie McFirst-Grader, I want to marry you. Love, Mistery Girl  And that’s really how she spelled “mystery” and it was precious.

Still, like any irrational mom, I completely over-reacted. I was a little worried about the boy getting a card from someone unknown (she could be a psycho) telling him that she wants to marry him. So I told her that maybe it wasn’t super-appropriate to tell him right off the bat that she wanted to marry him. I thought about giving her the talk about playing hard-to-get, but ultimately decided it wasn’t age-appropriate. Because she’s frickin 6. And in her mind she’s already chosen a mate. I told her that if she told every cute boy in the world that she wanted to marry them, she would have thousands of husbands. She said that was fine. But I explained that I only have one husband and, wow, some days that is hard enough. So she sighed, but then started whining because she had used her last orange card, and in their “get to know you game” at school, Hottie McFirst-Grader said that his favorite color was orange, so what was she supposed to do?!? So I dusted off my scrapbooking stuff and cut her a new piece of orange card stock down to the right size to fit into the “Best Wishes, Love You” envelope and she trotted back to her room to write a new card.

The new card said: Dear Hottie McFirst-Grader, I think you are cute. Love, Mistery Girl

Much better, I assured her. So she stuck it in her backpack and began thinking of the best way to sneak it to him the next day. In the end, she enlisted the help of her teacher, who seemed happy enough to stick it in Hottie McFirst-Grader’s backpack while he was at lunch… eating his Mac ‘n Cheese like a dreamboat.

And while at first I was freaked out that she “likes” someone, I suddenly remembered that I had my first boyfriend in kindergarten. (I was ho’in even younger than my daughter…) His name was Dougie Menser and he used to steal hair clips from his older sister to give to me as gifts, and we used to swing on the swings together at recess singing “Get on Down the Road” from The Wiz. And it was innocent. We never smooched or anything. We were just good friends. In fact, he was my best friend in kindergarten. I never saw him after second grade, because we moved to another town, but someone told me that he had blue and green hair in high school. I’m just happy that I remember him as a precious 5 year old, with freckles, holding out to me a jewelry box with pretty hair clips that my mom would always make me give back.

But we can’t marry every cute boy in the world. And I really love the one I ended up with…

4 Comments »

1. How cute!! I wouldn’t worry too much, yet…unless it’s the boy pursuing her!! Uncle Sam says: When you have a boy, you only have to worry about one, but when you have a girl you have to worry about all of them. So, she’s safe for now.

   Uncle Sam also says:
   I see the Crunkleton genes are bubbling to the surface:-)

   Comment by Joan — September 7, 2008 @ 5:17 pm

2. Yeah, I remember when you moved to that new town. My town and you promptly stole my 3rd grade boyfriend’s heart. Jeremy Cantner broke up with me once you showed up and then had the nerve to ask me to draw my awesome tiger drawing on a note he wrote to you. And I did it!?!? Oh well, I soon realized you were cool so you deserved my awesome 3rd grade tiger drawing Plus, I’m glad he’s not my husband now, so thanks.

   Comment by Kerri — September 9, 2008 @ 2:22 pm

3. Kerri-

   I’m sorry about Jeremy Cantner… I had no idea you guys were “a thing”. If it makes you feel any better, we were never serious. But it’s cool to know that you were already great at art in the third grade! It’s possible I only decided to be his girlfriend because of the awesome tiger drawing… I never realized it was from you. Jeez, who knew he was such a fraud?!?

   Comment by admin — September 9, 2008 @ 4:06 pm

4. This was so sweet! And scary! BOYS?! Aaaah! I’m so not ready for when Julia starts to like boys.

   Comment by Leslie — September 11, 2008 @ 6:03 pm

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