I’m not bragging or anything, but I’m pretty sure that I’m the “cool” mom on the street. On any given day, I have about 10 neighbor kids either in my house or on my property. But look at what we have to offer: dirt; more dirt; rocks; rebar, empty caulk guns, plastic conduit, and other various leftover construction crap; and more dirt. Our yard—though it is currently the eyesore of the street—is kid heaven . And the HUGE pile of topsoil occupying the middle of the front yard… forget about it. All kids within a half mile radius flock to our house like we have some sort of beacon on the roof. (Although the Carlson’s across the street just got a new kiddie pool, so that’s given me a break the last couple of days.) When the neighbor kids discovered the “beverage fridge” in the garage (stocked with Capri Suns and Gatorades), I had to start chasing them off the property at sundown, telling them to go home to their real mothers. Know this: If you provide dirt, rocks, and cold drinks, children will not leave except by force. At about 9 each night I go out on the deck, pick up a piece of sprinkler pipe (or a lightsaber… whichever is lying there), and proceed to chase kids out of the yard. I do it in a friendly manner, but I think they know that I mean business because they really do run. First Bob, then Bob Junior, then Tiny Tom, then Buck-tooth Bill (no, these are not fake “Internet names” I’m giving them. These are the names they actually call each other). They run over all of the empty Capri Sun packets they’ve left in the yard for me to clean up (their real mothers teach them no manners…) and they run home squealing and laughing. It’s what I do.

All of the moms around here are pretty awesome. Kids roam fairly freely from house to house, and we all just kind of try to look out for each other’s kids. It’s fine. It’s cool. Most days I end up “looking out” for other people’s kids, but when my kids go out, I know that there other moms who will look out for mine as well. Yesterday, though, something happened that really pissed me off. There is one child who is kind of the neighborhood vagabond child. I’m pretty sure every neighborhood has one. Ours is named … well, I’ll call him “Ned”. He is 6. He is the youngest in his family and he is neglected. Everyone in his family assumes that someone else in the family is watching “Ned”, when in actuality no one is watching “Ned”. One day last winter he showed up on my front steps with no shoes and no coat, and it was hailing outside. Oh yeah, he also hadn’t been fed any lunch. Yesterday he came over and played for a while. After an hour or so I told him that I had to run some errands, so he would have to go home. He said, “No one is home at my house.” I asked him where his mom was. “At work.” Dad? “At work.” Brother? “Don’t know.” Sister? “She was supposed to watch me but she went to Seven Peaks.” Seven Peaks is the local water park. So apparently teenage sister was supposed to watch “Ned”, but she got a better offer and just assumed that someone else in the neighborhood would watch him. Not with a call to anyone saying, “Could you watch Ned for a few hours”…no, he would just wander from house to house until someone got home around dinnertime. Seems kosher, right? I mean, if you can’t babysit yourself by the time you’re 6 years old, there must be something wrong with you.

No, there is something wrong with his family.

I called his house to see if there was really no one home (because, as a lot of neglected children do, Ned lies a lot). But sure enough, there was no answer. He tried his mom’s cell phone number. No answer. It occurs to me that if Ned were dying right there on my kitchen floor, there would be absolutely no way to get a hold of anyone in his family. I have no idea where they work. Ned could have been kidnapped hours ago, and no one would notice for another 5 hours until someone got home, called around the neighborhood, and eventually realized that he was really gone. I was so pissed. I chatted Jon at work and said, “I want to call Child Protective Services.” He said, “Do it.” I didn’t want to be an alarmist, but I’m thinking , if this kid really does end up disappearing one day, I’m going to feel awful knowing that I knew the day was coming and did nothing. So I look up the number and I sit there wondering if I’m overreacting. And I give him something to eat. Twenty minutes later I ask him for his mom’s cell number and I call it. She answers this time. “Hi, this is Suzanne Gale. Ned’s been at my house for a few hours, and I’ve been needing to leave and I told him to go home but he told me that no one was home to watch him. I just want to make sure someone is there before I send him out alone into the world.” She gives me a nervous laugh. “Yeah, well, I just had to run a quick errand and I’m on my way home right now and I’ll just come pick him up.” “Great.” Click. Quick errand my ass. He’d been at my house for well over an hour, and he was roaming the street even longer than that. He’d been alone for hours.

Am I overreacting? Do I call? Is Child Protective Services for harsher cases where kids are beaten? He’s not being beaten, he’s just ignored. When I chase off the other kids at night with a sprinkler pipe and a silly song, I’m half tempted to keep Ned and bring him inside and give him a bath, and clean pajamas, and a bed.

8 Comments »

1. Absolutly not, you are NOT overacting. Neglect IS a form of abuse. That makes me sick! OK, I don’t have children to have some frame of reference, but do I have to have a frame of reference? I know right from wrong. So, what did you end up doing? Did his mom pick him up at your house after you called? If so, did you give her a piece of your mind or a little “scare”? If so, and this happens again (if you didn’t call CPS already this time) if it were me…. knowing this has been an ongoing thing,I’d call them!

   Comment by Cassie — June 28, 2007 @ 11:51 am

2. You are lucky to live in a neighborhood where the kids can roam safely. Ned is lucky to have you and your neighbors. My feeling in regards to watching my kids and knowing where they were was, what if anything ever happened…Would I be able to honestly tell the police that I knew where my kids were at any given time? Once my youngest was at a friend’s house and got stung by 10 bees, the mother (who is now one of my best friends) told me that she needed my number or someone to reach b/c I was in school at the time and my husband was traveling. So from that point, I always told parents who to call and where I would be.

   I would talk to the mother first and tell her that you were worried about Ned’s safety and what if he got hurt during the day while playing…How would you know who to contact? At that point, you would have to call the police.

   Comment by Jenny — June 28, 2007 @ 6:44 pm

3. Having a six year old myself, I would NEVER leave him alone even if I was running an errand. He doesn’t even stay in the car alone when I have to run into a store or bank, even if I know I’ll just be a minute. You have to call!! They won’t take him away but it will give mom a wake up call and let her know that the state is now watching!!

   Comment by Sam — June 28, 2007 @ 9:01 pm

4. OK, So I totally agree with all of the previous comments posted. I would defintely express your concerns to the mother the next time you find him wandering. Here is a run down of what will actually happen in the event that you do call the police or CPS. An officer or a CPS worker will come to your home and pick up the child. They will then transport the child to a childs emergency shleter house. Up here it is called the Christmas Box House. The police or CPS worker will continue to look for the parents. There will be an emergency hearing before a Judge the next day. At that time the parents will have to explain why the child was left alone. The state will than decide whether or not they will be opening a case against the parents. The Child will be returned to the family when they are located if DCFS determines it is appropriate. Many times, in cases like these, the state decides not to file charges and issues the parents a warning. We had an case very similar to this a few weeks ago. Do not feel like you are overreacting. Good Luck!

   Comment by Diana — July 2, 2007 @ 11:14 am

5. It’s sad, but there always seems to be a kid like that in the neighborhood - the one with the parents who take advantage and rely on others to take care of their children. I can understand your struggle, but I think calling CPS is probably the right thing to do.

   There was a park Julia and I used to frequent near our old house that had two permanent visitors there - two little girls, ages 4 and 6. They were there every day, all day. Their house was a few blocks away - not far, but not close enough to realistically believe they were being watched by anyone that was there. They were lovely girls, but clearly were not being cared for the way children should. Their hair didn’t look washed, there was dirt caked under their fingernails and their teeth needed a good brushing. They were usually wearing the same clothes we’d seen them in days before, whether they were appropriate for the weather or not. I agonized over what I should do about those kids. Do I call the police when the sun’s going down, I’m leaving the park and they’re still there with no one to watch them? Do I call CPS? Ultimately, I did nothing. I talked to them, allowed Julia to play with them (many mothers kept their children away), and shared our snacks, but I never called anyone or said anything. I regret that.

   Comment by Leslie — July 2, 2007 @ 11:28 am

6. I would talk to the Mom, if she is receptive and see what happens. We had a little boy wander into our lives (our front door, our fridge, etc) last year. In the end, I did speak to a school counselor and she suggested that I call CPS with more details if he continued to be locked out of his house.

   Turns out his parents were meth addicts, so his Grandma has stepped in. He has a 3,2,and 1 year old siblings too. Their lives are hard; he has diabetes. Here I was, giving him meals last summer and I had no idea about his health.

   So, I pray she will do a better job, being embarrassed and all. I don’t regret seeing the counselor and getting involved. Neglected kids are so vulnerable. They need us watchful moms.

   Comment by Lisa Milton — July 3, 2007 @ 5:54 pm

7. Ok I can totally relate and actually that is how I found myself here. We have a 6 year old crossing a busy street over and over to play with our child. The mother does not know us and when I asked her to stay for supper and made her go ask her Mom, she ate like she had not seen food in days. The vehicle in their driveway does not work and it appears it is a few different relatives all living under one roof. I see a smaller child (2ish) with older kids watching her dragging her all over the neighborhood. I am trying to decide what to do. I think I should go knock on the door and explain that my daughter cannot always play as I must be outside to watch her and ask her if she is aware her child is crossing this street? I need to get something to judge what is going on. They recently have moved here (maybe 1 1/2 months ago). I do know that social services have been there already since moving in. And one day this girl said the same thing I cannot go home noone is there (same situation I had an errand to run). This is so frustrating. I want to be the good person I was raised to be and help this little girl, but her manners and such are so bad I do not want it rubbing off on my children. But what example am I setting if I turn my back on her? I wish you all the best and hopefully I can gain from the advice given as well!

   Comment by Dawn — July 9, 2007 @ 1:28 pm

8. @Dawn- I guess I’d rather be safe than sorry, in your case. I say make an anonymous call and let the authorities make the call of whether or not the kid is in trouble. If I have any more days like the one I had with “Ned”, I’m making a call as well, even after I’ve spoken to his mom. Someone has to be a voice for these kids.

   Comment by growupslowly — July 9, 2007 @ 8:06 pm

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