Every morning Zoe and I have the same painful, screeching process for her crazy, beautiful hair. Wash it, condition it, slather leave-on cream in it, soak it with detangling spray, and then go to work with the brush. Her hair is very tangly, even with all of the products and she screams bloody murder like I am actually pulling her hair out by the roots, even though I try to be quite gentle.
My poor grandma did her best to take care of the children last week while Jon and I were gone, but my children really tried to get away with everything they could. This included Zoe’s hair. She gave my grandma such a hard time that my grandma gave up after the first day… which is why I came home from our trip last night to find my daughter looking like a stray cocker spaniel with mange.
4 days of no brushing except for the superficial top layer of hair, with the underneath part looking like blonde dreadlocks. I looked at Zoe and said, “How bad of a time did you give Grammy about your hair?” She gave me a look that said “Really bad”. But the joke was on Zoe, because this morning we had to get her showered and ready for school — including her hair — and I’m not a softie like Grammy. I’m not going to lie; there was a lot of screaming.
Other than the complete lack of hair brushing, they also got away with the following things: too much video game time, incomplete homework stuffed under the bed, lacky piano practices, reading time spent on books far below their reading levels and containing the words “butt” and “fart” much too often… and I’m pretty sure they also brushed their teeth with Sprite and Pop Rocks, convincing Grammy that the popping, effervescent carbon dioxide action kills plaque between the teeth on contact.
The irony is that when Jachin went to my grandma and told her that he was out of money in his lunch account and only got a roll and milk for lunch until he brought in more money, she didn’t believe him. She said that he was trying to trick her into giving him money.
Jachin had a stale, white roll and milk for lunch for two days.
Maybe the next time we leave for a week, my instructions to Grammy need to be a little more detailed. Or else Zoe’s hair needs to be chopped short and Jachin’s homework and lunch money stapled to his forehead.
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It makes you wonder if vacation is really worth all that. Poor Jachin! Parley has had yogurt and milk before because I forgot to send him with more money. The sad part is he liked it better than normal lunch.
Comment by Sam — November 12, 2007 @ 1:08 pm
This is very funny! I feel for Zoe though. All little girls have been there. I remember sometimes letting my hair get really knotted and having really long, painful detangling sessions with Mom and a brush I called Brutus
Comment by kerri — November 13, 2007 @ 2:59 am
Oh no! If we missed a day of combing Julia’s hair, it would be so bad, we’d probably just have to shave her. I feel for you and Zoe both!
Poor Jachin and his lunch. At least he probably made up for it with all those goodies Grandma’s like to give out.
Comment by Leslie — November 13, 2007 @ 11:47 am
there was this one summer when my sister would not let anyone touch her hair. she would get out of the shower and wrap it in a towel that would stay on her head until she went to bed. in the end, she had to be shaved like a matted sheepdog. is was bad in a number of ways, but she always brushes her hair now.
Comment by kate — November 16, 2007 @ 8:05 am