Today was day 2 of the Children’s Literature Forum. For me, it was much nicer than day 1. The mingling was easier. Like, at lunch, two old librarians sat next to me and chatted me up. The one told me that I “look like that movie star, Cameron Diaz” and then the second old librarian said “oh no, you are much more beautiful than that Cameron Diaz”. And then I hugged them both and cried, because they were the first people to be really nice to me during the whole conference and WOW, were they nice. (I didn’t really hug them, because that would have been weird, but I wanted to.) The speakers today were pretty dang phenomenal, too. I loved listening to Brandon Mull speak during the luncheon. He’s all about being a champion for the fantasy genre… so of course I wanted to hug him, too. But I didn’t. Because, again, the weird factor. He talked about his active imagination (as a kid and as an adult) and I completely identified with him. He talked about the “nerd-stink” that went along with his love for fantasy during his teen and young adult years. The guy was brilliant and honest, despite his admittance to not being a “public speaker person”. At the end of his talk he apologized for not making the correct eye contact or whatever other speaking faux pas he may have inadvertently made. It was awesome. I applauded enthusiastically to his presentation, all the while wanting — of course — to hug him. But can you blame me? C’mon, a fantasy advocate? Bless him, dude. Frickin bless him.
The best session, though, was the one led by Ann Dee Ellis. She was pregnant, funny, smart, a little nuts, and a kindred soul if I ever did see one talk. (I’d say “a kindred soul if I ever did meet one”, but I didn’t actually meet her.) She held up a copy of The Bell Jar and asked if any of us had read it, and my hand flew up. She proceeded to tell how she identified completely with the story… and I nodded. And listening to her talk I thought, holy cow, I want to be this chick’s friend… but that would be weird to say that to someone, so of course I didn’t. Our seemingly similar paths ended when she said “I didn’t read this book until I was in graduate school…” Huh. Graduate school. Maybe we aren’t twins after all.
That’s when it really struck me how frickin far behind the learning curve I truly am. People who should be my peers would be my instructors. I’m old, man. I can’t imagine that if I’d actually gone to school on a normal time table I could be teaching writing at a college instead of learning writing at a college. Recounting this to Jon tonight, he said “Are you sure you want to go to school this fall?” I said, “yes.” He said, “You’re going to be sitting in classes with 18 and 19 year old kids.” I said, “I know.” He said, “If you wait another 10 years, you can go back as an old granny, and then people will say ‘oh, look at that cute old granny going back to school, good for her.’ If you go back now, people will just think it’s weird.” I thanked him for pointing out the painfully obvious things that I’d already been thinking about for two days straight. But seriously, putting off school another 10 years just because it will be embarrassing? Would it really be any less embarrassing in another 10 years?
But here we are. The forum is over, and I have much to think about.
And I’ve just realized — again — that I’m not getting any younger.
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That forum sounds like a fabulous event. I’m glad you had the chance to go - you sound inspired!
As for college, I promise, you won’t be the minority you think you’ll be. There will be other non-traditional students (and there is likely to be a group you can join to meet many of them!). And look at it this way - being around people in a different age group will provide you with wonderful insight that you can probably use in your writing.
And consider this: the unique path your life has taken is providing you with everything you need to write that bestseller. No one knows exactly what you know or has experienced just what you’ve experienced. There’s nothing wrong with doing things your own way, in your own time. It’s not too late to follow your dreams and there’s no right or wrong way (aside from doing something illegal) to achieve them.
Best of luck to you Suz, with school, with writing, with all of it. I think you’re brilliant.
Comment by Leslie — March 24, 2008 @ 2:46 pm