My kids have a new favorite word: random. They use it all the time, everyday. And while they actually use it correctly (sort of…most of the time), it’s still been bugging the crap out of me… just because of the sheer frequency in which it’s used.

For instance: We will be in the car, driving along, talking about swimming lessons, and Jachin will suddenly blurt out “Taco!” To which Zoe will say, “Wow, that was random.” (It’s not really all that random, though, because Jachin has taken a shine to yelling out “taco!” in the middle of conversations lately. Kind of like Tourette’s syndrome, only more obnoxious and without an actual medical basis.)

At least five times each day, the kids will come up to me and ask, “Hey mom, you want to hear something really random?” And then they’ll tell me something that — to them — is completely out of left field. Or they will say, “You have to see this random thing I created…” And it will be an interesting Lego/Playdough/MyLittlePony sculpture.

Here are some random things I’ve come to learn about randomness:

1) You can say random things… they just have to be weird. Even if repeating it over and over in an annoying fashion makes it mathematically less random. To my children, this is “random”.

2) You can do random things. Again, it helps if the things are weird or appear out of place… like when Jachin does an armpit fart to the pharmacist at Target, and then immediately segues into the Chicken Dance. To Zoe, this is “random”. (To me, this is just obnoxious and rude, and calls for Wii privileges to be revoked.)

3) You can act/say/do/make/create/destroy things in a random fashion. This one is too lengthly to explain. Just come visit my house this summer. We’ll show you a random good time.

3 Comments »

1. Ah, the random bit. I think once they ‘get’ it, they can’t wait to use it until it breaks.

   Lexi has moved on to ‘awkward’, which again, she uses correctly BUT TOO OFTEN.

   It implies I’m dopey way too often.

   Comment by Lisa Milton — June 7, 2008 @ 6:01 am

2. It seems exhausting in your world. I commend your attempts to specify what is truly random and what is actually just obnoxious.

   I’m about ready to strangle the next child who says “Sweet.” I’ve already been through that phase, 20 years ago.

   Comment by stephanie (bad mom) — June 10, 2008 @ 8:52 pm

3. This is the funniest thing I’ve read today. Particularly:

   “… like when Jachin does an armpit fart to the pharmacist at Target, and then immediately segues into the Chicken Dance.”

   Also, Julia has the pseudo-Tourette’s thing, too. Her word of choice to yell is, “BABY!”

   Comment by Leslie — June 11, 2008 @ 4:55 am

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