7:33 pm October 4, 2008Favorite fall things: I Love Pie
People should know that I can take just about anything in moderation — for instance, I can eat one doughnut without eating a dozen doughnuts. With most things I can stop. Control myself. Not go hog wild with the food-cramming.
Usually.
But one thing I really, really love? Pumpkin pie. And the fact that it’s only “in season” a few months out of the year triggers an urgent alarm in my brain. An alarm that says “Dude, if you can get your hands on some pie, you should stuff as much of it in your face as possible because it’s a long time until pumpkin season again”.� Because really, you only get, like, Halloween to Thanksgiving. And with this mental alarm, there are also beeps and flashing lights and images of delicious pie floating on clouds.
Oh yes… and? I’m pregnant. Which means that at least some part of me feels entitled to eat whatever and however much I dang well please.
So the other night around 10pm, I got a hankering for pumpkin pie. So I went down to the dungeon computer room to hopefully have Jon talk me out of it. Or at least have him offer to run out and get it for me.
“I want pie,” I said.
“Ok,” he said, while his Night Elf summoned his war horse and made for the hills.
And here I saw that he was way into World of Warcraft for the evening and there would be no way to get him to make a pie-run for me.
“Would it be weird if I went out and got it?”
“No.” Aspect of the Cheetah.
“Ok, well, I’ll be back soon.”
“Ok.” Healing spells cast.
(I’m pretty sure he has no recollection of the aforementioned conversation.)
So first I went to Albertson’s, where I scoured the bakery to find zero pumpkin pie. They did have chocolate silk… and I was briefly tempted to settle. But no, I came for pumpkin and resolved that I was not going home without pumpkin. So I went and picked up a frozen Marie Calendar’s pumpkin pie. It said it was supposed to bake for 75 minutes. Which would mean I would be putting pie in my mouth around 11:15pm… but I took it as my back-up pie.
Next I ran across the street to Target. They were closing, but the bakery is right inside the door. I ran wobbled briskly in and beheld one pumpkin pie left on the bakery shelf. I grabbed it, not even caring if it was 2 weeks past date and appeared to have a hair on it.
Then I came home and ate the pie.
Not some pie.
The pie.
After I covered it in Reddi Whip. What? Oh shut up, it was Reddi Whip Lite.
And I didn’t just grab a fork and go to town with the pie still in the tin. I carefully cut it into fourths and put one fourth on my plate. And then crammed my face.
And then repeated until the pie was gone.
But technically, if one of the kids were to have woken up and come out to the kitchen, or if Jon had found a safe place to dismount his war horse and sat to drink a healing potion while he came upstairs from the dungeon computer room… well, they could have had a piece of it. After I fought them for it.
But in my defense: it was a small-ish pie.� And the baby was doing cartwheels. Obviously he likes pie, too. (Or maybe he was kicking me saying: Jeez, woman, what is this 6 pounds of orange stuff down here? It’s smothering me out!)
But I don’t care. It was delicious and I don’t make any apologies. Plus, it’s too late to apologize. (It’s tooo laaaate!) Because my thighs have already expanded exponentially and I’m being treated for an overdose of beta carotene. And I think my skin is looking a little orangey.
But I’d do it again. In fact I might…
Hold on, I gotta run out for a sec. Target closes in ten.
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This one had me laughing so hard I had tears streaming down my face. Can I tell you how many times I have gone down to our dungeon to ask, tell, beg – whatever Tom for something and he is in the middle of Age of Mythology. And, you go girl for eating that pie, I am having visions of your little guy coming out slightly orangey. I had Tom read this and he had the same reaction as I did, I think it’s because we both know all too well about night time vices; like pumpkin pie! Only – I’m not prego, got no excuses.
Comment by shahara — October 4, 2008 @ 9:12 pm
I overdosed on pumpkin pie and bread while pregnant with Lexi. Um, pumpkin.
It’s a veggie right? Completely nutritious and necessary.
(I like the WoW references.)
Comment by Lisa Milton — October 5, 2008 @ 5:37 am
This post is riddled with technical inaccuracies.
1) It’s not a Night Elf…it’s a Blood Elf. They’re just as cute…but they’re evil.
2) Aspect of the Cheetah is a Hunter ability. Clearly my character is a Paladin.
3) You don’t have to sit to drink healing potions.
Silly girl.
Comment by The Hubby — October 5, 2008 @ 3:09 pm
You could think of it as you only ate half the pie…the baby ate the other half.
Thanks for the comment. Jon is my inspiration when it comes to this. It helps to see that someone actually succeeded.
Comment by Sam — October 6, 2008 @ 5:49 am
I am completely not judging you; you are growing an entire human in your body – eat pie!
I think I need to send you my recipe for Chocolate Chip-Walnut Pumpkin Pie. I make it every Thanksgiving (and proceed to eat 2/3 of it before anyone else blinks; snoozers=losers). Thighs be damned.
Comment by stephanie (bad mom) — October 9, 2008 @ 9:02 pm
This post made me laugh so hard, Dave asked me what I was laughing about and I had to start all over and read it aloud to him.
We’d a match made in heaven, what with me and my doughnuts and you and your pie. Let Jon have his World of Warcraft, and come marry me!
Comment by Leslie` — November 4, 2008 @ 1:05 pm
[...] and starting with the letter “f”. So I picked “food”. And then I picked one of my many posts about pumpkin pie. Because I had several of them to choose from… as I was really on a pie bender a few weeks [...]
Pingback by The World According To Suz » Distracted by something shiny — November 4, 2008 @ 7:34 pm
I LOVE pie too–though I don’t know that I could pick a favorite. Key lime, apple, raspberry-rhubarb, coconut cream, blueberry, lemon meringue, chess pie, pumpkin, french silk . . .
Comment by Michelle at Scribbit — November 5, 2008 @ 8:10 am
Ah, how sweet it is to find another wife living with the PCmistress. And thank you for validating my pregnant apple pie and cheeto binge this last summer. May Target never close before you get your fill.
Comment by Ice Cream — November 21, 2008 @ 5:11 am
This is hilarious! I love the conversation you had with your husband and how you’re sure he doesn’t remember it. So funny! Congratulations on winning the Write-Away contest!
Comment by Becky — November 21, 2008 @ 6:55 am
Oh man, this had me ROLLING on the floor laughing. I just had my second baby last week and can totally relate to the entire midnight pie experience. And the dungeon stuff… priceless!!! Congrats on winning the write-away contest!
Comment by Heather — November 21, 2008 @ 12:35 pm
This is brilliant! Makes me miss being pregnant for some reason – you can justify anything when you’re pregnant.
Comment by Mozi Esme's Mommy — November 21, 2008 @ 1:59 pm
Hi,
I can totally identify with the ‘cutting one-fourth and eating it whole’ process. Only with me it is walnut brownies. And also the fact that I’m not pregnant and do not have any excuse for hogging. But the pleasure makes up for the guilt.
Comment by Sucharita Sarkar — November 22, 2008 @ 12:08 pm
Hilarious. My husband also plays games in the dungeon, and you captured the typical conversation perfectly.
I believe pregnant women have the right to eat whatever they want for the moment–you go girl!
Comment by pam — November 22, 2008 @ 1:25 pm
Oh, I’m laughing so hard! When I was pregnant for the first time, we lived in a vacation area that pretty much closed up the sidewalks after the leaves fell. I filled my freezer with Hostess cupcakes in case I had a craving because I knew it could be at least 48 hours to fulfillment if I didn’t!!
Enjoy your pregnancy — and your baby.
Comment by Daisy — November 28, 2008 @ 11:34 am
[...] how I told you that I was distracted from NaNoWriMo by a shiny contest? And I entered my post about pumpkin pie and World of Warcraft. (Two things, strangely enough, that are rarely written about at the same [...]
Pingback by The World According To Suz » My Pie Addiction Totally Paid Off — December 2, 2008 @ 6:02 pm