1:33 pmMovie Reviews…by Me!
Okay, these are not actual reviews. I’ve never been to film school. I have no idea what is crap and what is not. I just know what I dig and what I don’t. So here’s a list of movies and my two-cent take on them. Each gets a YUP or a NOPE, depending on how they measure up to my tough standards of movie greatness. Newly added: the M’EH rating, given to any movie that perfectly balances on the point of mediocrity.
Night Watch (Nochnoi Dozor)
R- for violence, weird sci-fi type scenes, and language (in sub-title form)
Night Watch is one of my favorite books. It is the first book in the “Night Watch” Russian fantasy trilogy. I am currently reading Day Watch (book 2). Dusk Watch (book 3) will be released in English translation later this month. Today, June 1st, Day Watch, the movie, is released in the US in incredibly limited release. I think the theater in closest proximity to me is some obscure film festival in Washington State. At any rate, I will not be seeing Day Watch until it is released on DVD in the US.
The book is better. Isn’t it always? But the movie is very cool. The visual effects are hella-awesome… and I don’t use that term on just any special effects. It is every sci-fi lover/aspiring writer’s dream to come up with something so imaginative, and then to see it on screen… It’s just really cool. The characters in the movie always turn out looking different than what I imagined while reading, but that’s only mildly distracting. I love Anton. And Kostya is a stinkin’ cutie. Gessar also looked about like how I’d imagined. Olga, on the other hand, was WAY off, as was Zevulon.
There are several glaring discrepancies between the book and the movie. One being that half of the characters in the book make absolutely no appearance in the movie. One of these characters, Alisa, becomes a main character in the second book, so it will be interesting to see how they suddenly bring her into the second movie with practically no back-story in the first movie. There is another main discrepancy that I can’t go into in this review because it would be a big spoiler, and I want no part of that. I want everyone to 1) read Night Watch, and then 2) see Night Watch. If you read the book first, the movie will make a lot more sense.
This was a great sci-fi movie. One of my new favorites, along side Serenity, which may be my favorite sci-fi movie of all time. See this movie and we can talk.
Night Watch is a huge YUP!
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Shrek 3-
PG
I’m not sure what to say about this movie. I was really hoping that it was be the awesome-est Shrek to date. Perhaps me-hopes were just a little too big for Shrek’s britches.
It was funny. Do not get me wrong. There were some great little one-liners and zingers. But it was not as all-the-time funny as Shrek 2 (my favorite Shrek thus far). I think one major flaw is that–I suppose in an attempt to keep things fresh–they threw in about 20 new characters. Far too many new characters to get any solid character development. There were a horde of new princesses (who did end up kicking butt, which was cool), a new would-be king (voiced by the saucy Justin Timberlake…who isn’t saucy at all in this movie), and a gaggle of others that were so underdeveloped that I’m having a hard time remembering them. I saw this movie on opening day, and I’m just now writing the review… so my memory may be a little foggy. That said, it probably means something that I saw this movie on opening day and I’m just now sitting down to do the review. I was not rushing to the laptop to write about this one.
But it was moderately funny. Perhaps I just put poor old Shrek on a pedestal too high–and then abruptly knocked him off onto the shores of the murky Lake M’eh. I’m sorry, Shrek.
Shrek is a mere M’eh
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Hot Fuzz-
R- for language and gore (not necessarily in that order)
From the people who brought you “Shaun of the Dead” comes “Hot Fuzz”, the story of a by-the-book super-cop named Nicholas Angel who is transferred out of London for making everyone else on the force look bad. His transfer lands him in a village in the countryside where there’s been no real “action”, like, ever. He is given a partner, who ends up being the son of the inspector. The partner is kind of a shlub, but sweet enough, and provides much of the comedy. When people start turning up dead (in some pretty gory scenes) everyone on the force, except Angel, is convinced that these are just a series of tragic accidents. Angel must find the killer and prove that these are murders.
This movie is funny. It has some hilarious one-liners. It also has a few scenes taken straight out of Bad Boys that totally cracked me up. Make no mistake, there is gore. There you’ll be laughing, laughing, laughing, and then *CHOP* someone’s head comes off and there’s blood squirting. The only way I can explain this away is to tell you that it’s comic violence. At one point, two people are decapitated and Angel gets the phone call in the middle of the night informing him that there’s been an accident and two people have been “decaffeinated”.
If you aren’t too faint of heart, the violence adds a little punchy dimension to the comedy. This is one funny movie if you aren’t easily offended.
Hot Fuzz is a YUP
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The Ex-
PG13 (for crotch jokes and the one token f-word you find in every PG13)
So far I have heard two schools of thought on this movie. Since the movie plays kind of like a long episode of either Scrubs or Arrested Development (both very funny shows) people say either a) so save $10 and stay home and watch one of those shows or b) that pretty much guarantees a hilarious movie. I tend to go with the latter.
I liked this movie, mostly. Zach Braff is always funny, Amanda Peet is pretty, and Jason Bateman is someone you will love to hate. Normally I love Jason Bateman, and I like him in this, too… but in a different way. His character was so….ugghhhh. Wheelchair or no, you just want to punch him over and over. Which makes it funny and at times uncomfortable, like, is it okay to laugh at this? But I laughed whether it was P.C. or not. Amanda Peet’s rough transition to stay-at-home-mom life was relatable, even though—unlike her character—I was not a lawyer before Jachin was born. Actually, I worked at Victoria’s Secret. But it was a rough transition, nonetheless.
My only issue with this movie is that it plays, in parts, a little too serious. It doesn’t quite know if it wants to be a comedy or almost a drama.You get emotionally attached to Zach Braff’s character, and feel for his plight. He spends most of the movie being beat down at every turn, which left me feeling frustrated that he wouldn’t be able to finally one-up the ex-boyfriend. This frustration was a little distracting from the funny parts. When you see it, you’ll know what I mean.
It tries to be funny, and half succeeds. If only the other half had succeeded…
The Ex is a M’EH
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Disturbia -
PG13
First off, let me tell you that I love Shia LaBeouf. I’ve loved him (in a non-icky way) since the Even Stevens days. Shia LaBeouf played a kid named Louis Stevens on a show called Even Stevens that was on the Disney Channel 7 or 8 years ago. Yeah, I know, I’m supposed to be an adult. But don’t judge unless you’ve seen the show. It was dang funny. Back then, Louis Stevens was in, like, sixth grade. Louis, in my mind, was like a little brother. Just cute and hilarious. So imagine my shock upon seeing my fake brother Louis…I mean, Shia… full on makin-out with some hottie. Shia, you’re grounded. Honestly! So what if you’re actually 2o years old or something. You’re breaking my heart.
Aside from the shock of watching my fake little brother making out, I thought it was a pretty good show. I like to judge the spookiness of a show by the severity of the indian burns on my husband’s arm after a movie. (Jon had some decent burns that night. With a few claw marks for good measure.) When he finally said “Ow!” and yanked his arm away, I had to resort to chewing on my finger. Truth be told, in a real-life stressful situation, I would be completely useless. I’d be in a corner somewhere clawing or grabbing or chewing.
My point is, even if this movie were absolutely awful, it would still have some merit in my eyes just because of Mr. LaBeouf. But it wasn’t awful. It had some really intense, drawn out scenes. It had definite suspense, which I like 100X more than gore. I love a good creepy factor, and this movie had it. Is the neighbor a wacko? Does the kid just need another hobby? Is it paranoia? I liked the genuine suspense of it all. The kid who played the part of the goofy best-buddy was also a plus.
The only “meh” part to it was the young love interest with whom Shia swaps a decent amount of spit. Yeah, she’s really cute. But there’s a certain scene where he goes on and on about how “deep” and “soulful” she is, and that I just wasn’t buying. The girl didn’t pull off the “hottie- with- substance” role. Or maybe there just won’t ever be anyone good enough for my fake brother…
Disturbia is a YUP
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im going to read night watch suz - loved your blog - not sure i was ment to laugh but did (howled) - ta
Comment by Leslie — October 10, 2007 @ 10:55 am