5:58 pm“Wanted”: a review
So let’s say there’s a movie that includes both the Scottish yummy-ness that is James McAvoy and the saucy, Kohl-eyed Angelina Jolie, who — as you may or may not have noticed — is also far from unattractive. Now let’s add to the attractive cast lots of guns, knives, butt-kicking, sports cars, general fight scenes, and… well, derailed trains… it’s okay, stay with me. Now, just for kicks, let’s throw in an R-rating that suggests that you may or may not get to see one or both of these assassin hotties all nekkid. (Spoiler: you get to see Angelina’s bare butt, but only one brief bare chest shot of a beefed-up James… to which I say “What the hell-crap is up with that?!?” I can only assume that the director had absolutely zero idea that there would be any chicks going to see this movie, and therefor left out any gratuitous male skin.) Truly, the R-rating is for insane head shots with spurting blood, and a bunch of exploding rats that will have PETA all up in arms, and a boat load of F-bombs… but, sadly, not for any hot nekkid-ness.
The director, Timur Bekmambetov, is the same guy who did the screen adaptation of the Russian vampire book Night Watch (Nochnoi Dozor), a movie that frickin rocked the socks. T’was the bee’s knees. Night Watch also had over-the-top violence and some of the action sequences and camera angles from Wanted were very reminiscent of Night Watch.(Anyone who saw Night Watch will recognize that “Anton” is also in Wanted, and plays none other than “The Russian”.)
For the second time this year, James McAvoy assumes an American accent, which sort of annoyed me. They could have kept him Scottish… he could have had the assassin call-name “The Scotsman” or something. (As a side note: I’ve always wondered if it’s hard to learn an American accent.) He spent a large portion of the movie getting pummeled as part of his training. Magical “healing pools” allowed for quick recovery from broken bones and severed limbs and whatever else the training required… so after a few hours he was always good as new to be re-pummeled. Angelina Jolie was, you know, hot and stuff. She could curve a bullet with rest of the boys. She was a man’s woman. Hot and skilled at fighting, and you just got the sense that she probably also knew a lot of stuff about sports and wouldn’t care if her man went out to party with his friends, but none of that was ever actually addressed in the movie. As a woman, all I could wonder the whole time was “I wonder if this movie was filmed before or after she had her kid…?” because girl was hot. And skinny. And could lie down on top of a train going through a tunnel without her gut hitting the roof of the tunnel. (In retrospect, Angelina Jolie movies aren’t the best for chubby pregnant chicks to see…)
This movie isn’t a “thinker”. If a thinking man’s movie is what you are looking for, check out The Love Guru or something. Wanted is a movie for people who like exploding heads, exploding rats, exploding trains, exploding buildings, more exploding heads, and Angelina Jolie looking hot. Though the last scene in the movie is James McAvoy (sadly, fully clothed), shooting someone through the head asking the final line of the movie: “What the f**k have you done lately?” And that did make me think… And I had to answer him honestly. “Umm, some laundry, the dishes…” And my answer seemed kind of lame.
So I’m Googling whether or not the world needs a pregnant assassin. I’m pretty sure with some training I could balance myself in a horizontal position on the top of a train.
Just no tunnels…
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‘The Most Fruitful Yuki’ comes to mind
Comment by Sam — June 29, 2008 @ 7:11 pm
Wow, what a review! Exploding rats? Who could ask for anything more? =)
Comment by Diana — July 2, 2008 @ 5:05 am
All I needed to know is James McAvoy is in it…
But I’m with you on the accent - it is THAT which makes my knees (and other unmentionable parts) quiver. Especially regarding the last line - not much hotter than a cute boy muttering “F*ck” in a Scottish accent.
Sigh.
Good luck on your assassin quest.
Comment by stephanie (bad mom) — July 8, 2008 @ 10:41 am
The pregnancy would be a great cover…no one would suspect you.
Comment by Leslie — July 14, 2008 @ 7:58 pm