12:50 pm November 14, 2008…but
A few days ago, Jon came home from work and informed me that Jon’s boss and his wife want to go to dinner with us. A few days ago I was still getting over a cold, still rather congested, and experiencing the overall feeling of swollen, unattractive fatness that comes with the butt-end of pregnancy. But I’m always up for a night out, and any excuse to get a sitter on a weekend and go out with my husband, I’ll take it. I don’t care who we go with. So we are going tonight.
Still, I guess I was a little worried about making an impression on the boss. A good impression. Because sometimes I can leave a weird, or uncomfortable, or obnoxious impression without meaning to. It’s just me being myself. And I don’t think I’m completely socially retarded, but I can say weird things sometimes. And sometimes I feel like people have a hard time figuring out how to read me the first few times they’re around me. So I voiced my concerns to my husband.
Me: “A night out with the boss, huh?”
Jon: “Yeah.”
Me: “So I have to put on my ‘social hat’?”
Jon: “Yep.”
Me: “And be charming and witty?”
Jon: “Yep.”
Me: “But probably reel it in a little?”
Jon: “Yeah, probably a little…. um, at least a little.”
Me: “Be a little less like myself?”
Jon: “Ok.”
Me: “Be less hilarious?”
Jon: “No, you can be hilarious. Hilarious is good. But, y’know, actual hilarious. Not what you think is hilarious.”
Me: “You don’t think I’m hilarious?”
And staring at me for a moment, and realizing there was no good and honest response to this question, he crammed a bunch of food into his mouth and acted like he couldn’t talk.
So tonight I am putting on my social hat and waddling out the door to dinner with my husband — who, obviously, has no idea what real hilarious is – and his boss and his boss’s wife. And I will try to be on very good behavior and only crack jokes that other people think are funny. I guess I could go a completely different route and try to be sophisticated, and boring, and complain about being pregnant, and drink my drink while holding my pinkie finger out, and crack zero jokes, but that would just be weird. And not much like myself… aside from the complaining about being pregnant, because I really have been doing that a lot lately. Happily, I think we are going to a comedy club after dinner, so I can let other people tell hilarious jokes and give myself a break. And hang on the words of professional comedians and take notes on what is actually hilarious… y’know, for the next potentially socially weird night out.
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Ok – I’m laughing out loud – really – my gut hurts. What is wrong with the men we married, I swear Jon and Tom are clones! I’ve this same conversation with him before going out with his very wealthy co-workers. It always turns out good, somehow, I manage to reel things in enough and still have a good time. Jon must be somewhat charming at work to get ‘an outside of work’ invitation. That has to be good.
Comment by shahara — November 14, 2008 @ 1:11 pm
@Shahara- So when are we going out with you guys? We can all sit around and you and I can crack weird jokes and make our husbands uncomfortable and embarrassed to be married to us! It will be awesome!
Comment by admin — November 14, 2008 @ 1:19 pm
That’s why I like hanging out with you and Paul. We don’t have to reel it in and we can say weird things that we think are funny.
Comment by Sam — November 14, 2008 @ 1:23 pm
I never know how to act with the higher ups, but I got better at it when we spent a week together in Bermuda.
I even got the thumbs up on some encounters.
I know you will be charming.
Comment by Lisa Milton — November 14, 2008 @ 1:42 pm
Have a great time!!! I’m sure you’ll be “charming.”
Comment by Joan — November 15, 2008 @ 11:33 am
I’m sure you were perfectly charming. I can’t imagine you not being charming. You’re so darn tootin’ cute!
Comment by Leslie — November 19, 2008 @ 2:11 pm