8:27 pmIf
Tonight Jon and I went to the movies. But not together. We went separately, in different cars, at different times, with different people, to different movies, at different theaters.
No, we aren’t mad at each other.
Jon decided to have a Guys Night Out, and they went to see the new Bond movie.
While me, my mom and her husband, and my sis went to see:
Transporter 3… which is about one-third as entertaining as the original Transporter. The plot? I’m still kinda scratching my head about: bad guy hires Frank (my boyfriend, Jason Statham) to drive a “package” (which is the token hot chick in the movie) all over the European continent until finally arriving at the final destination for the “delivery”. And who is waiting to pick up the package? None other than the bad guy himself.
Umm, what? Bad guy, why didn’t you just get on a jet with her and take a two hour flight to get to where you needed to be with the chick at the end of the movie?
Oh… because then there wouldn’t have been a movie. A movie showcasing this:
Lots of fight scenes with Jason with his shirt off! And while the bare-chested fight scenes weren’t quite as awesome as the bare-chested oily fight scene in the original movie, well, I wasn’t complaining.
And he had the usual sweet black Audi, which he managed to manuver on two wheels between two big rigs during this latest enstallment. And amazingly this did nothing to mess up his alignment, because he still drove crazy good afterward.
And there was of course a hot damsel in distress. Who had a hard time delivering lines in English; very reminiscent of the first Transporter. And Luc Besson (while I would never, ever ask him to stop making these awesome movies) writes romantic dialog about as well as George Lucas in the Star Wars movies. And at one point the damsel in distress held Jason’s car keys hostage until he agreed to do a strip tease for her. At which point my sister leaned over to me and whispered, “He can take out a group of 12 huge guys, but he can’t get a set of keys from one skinny girl?” And then I punched her for ruining it for me.
But bad acting and nonsensical situations aside, Jason did what he does best. He was very creative with the beating up and killing of people. Like here, when he used a falling helmet from the overhead compartment as a weapon, in lieu of a gun.
So to recap:
Lots of fast cars.
Lots of bare chests.
Lots of fighting.
And wait… did I mention bare chests?
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Well, let’s see, if this is a third as great as the first (which I enjoyed) then it might just be one bare chest too few to pay to see. I’ll wait for the DVD. Congrats on your Scribbit win!
Comment by Heidi Ashworth — November 26, 2008 @ 8:53 pm
Bare chests are always good; witness my willingness to go see “Wanted.” And “Shooter.” In fact, I think lack of a bare chest is what sank “The Happening” for me…
You’re a genius movie reviewer
Comment by stephanie (bad mom) — November 27, 2008 @ 12:21 am
Ooh - Jason is totally my boyfriend and my husband doesn’t even care because he’s so awesome at kicking you-know-what. Great review - we’re definitely going to see this one!
Comment by Heather — November 30, 2008 @ 3:22 pm
With a review like that how can I not see this one? =)
Comment by Diana — December 1, 2008 @ 7:18 am
I can’t believe I am just finally catching up on your blog. So much happens in a week or so. I LOVE the kicking the helmet or excuse me, ‘using the helmet as a weapon’ picture. That seriously gets me a little - well, you know what a mean the combination of shirt off, (well in my imagination he doesn’t have a shirt on….) ok - you get it, I like that shot, and yeah, I need to see a movie that isn’t about a guy with red lips, pale skin and NO muscles. No I haven’t seen Twilight I can’t decide if I should, you care to way in?
Comment by shahara — December 6, 2008 @ 7:46 pm
THIS MOVIE WAS GAY!!!!!! TOTALLY LAME.
Comment by Stuart — December 8, 2008 @ 5:19 am