Hi. I’m on the couch. I’m sleeping here tonight. My husband has been “flushing out his body” for the last 24 hours.

I believe it is swine flu.

Because several people at his office had swine flu. And 14 out of the 2,736,424 people in the state of Utah have died from swine flu. So, naturally, when he starts getting sick, it must be swine flu!

(nevermind that he had Taco Bell for dinner last night, an obvious culprit of food poisoning… because, swine flu!)

So I call my mom and I’m all swine flu! And she’s all food poisoning? And I’m all no, woman, you don’t listen! swine flu!

And then I go into the bathroom and I look at my poor hubby hugging the toilet bowl and I’m all swine flu?? And he’s all bbllllaaahhhhkkkk…

And then I text my friend, Heidi, and I’m all OMG Jon is brf-ing. SWN FLU! And she’s all w/e ur coming to work out tues morn anyway… because she is a hard core trainer/friend that way.

And then I call my in-laws and I’m all swine flu! And then my mother-in-law is all *thunk* because she has passed out and dropped the phone. And I’m starting to think that maybe I should reel it in a little with all of the swine flu!

And now Jon is sleeping peacefully, after 24 hours of barfing. Which is exactly how long a 24-hour stomach bug lasts. Or almost exactly how long food poisoning would last from, say, a tainted, nasty-licious Crunch Wrap Supreme.

But still, I’m sleeping on the couch tonight. Just in case, you know…

… swine flu.

2 Comments »

1. This made me laugh SO HARD. You are funny.

   Comment by Leslie — July 18, 2009 @ 6:07 pm

2. My niece got sick at the start of summer and my whole family was “Swine Flu!!” and it wasn’t.

   People are weird about swine flu.

   Comment by Jenna — July 20, 2009 @ 3:12 pm

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