10:36 am August 12, 2009Because
I mean, seriously… what attention hounds, these kids of mine. They were wanting three meals a day. Almost every day. And some days? Snacks, too.
They were wanting clean clothes. Again, every day! And not just wiped off with a washcloth and heavily Fabreezed… no, actually washed. In that machine that washes clothes. Something about “some kids’ parents don’t think we have a mom when we wear the same ketchup-stained shirt three days in a row… and no underwear”. And something about “mom, we aren’t allowed to drive ourselves to our friends’ houses in your car”. Pshaw.
And the tiny kid… y’know, the baby one? He is the worst about it. He wants food put directly into his mouth for him. And clothes put directly on his body. And his tush wiped for him! Something about “dude, I’m a baby and can’t even get my hands to go into my mouth when I want them to”.
Again, pshaw.
Yep, these kids were getting way too needy and stuff. They needed a lesson in self-sufficiency. Needed to learn to stand a little on their own two feet! (Except the baby one… he can’t stand yet.)
And to them I said: Quit being so needy! Do some stuff for yourselves, tiny people!
So I signed up with Twitter.
Because between my blog and Facebook and Flickr, I was being left with, like, 15 minutes of free time every day. Time I was using to cook meals and wash clothes and wipe tiny tushies.
But no more!!
From now on, my kids may look a little more homeless. A little less like kids who have parents. But they are learning to do things for themselves! Especially the baby one… I am teaching him to hold a baby wipe and reach his own tush as we speak. (Seriously, I can write a blog post and teach a baby to wipe his own butt at the same time. I am frickin awesome like that.)
Because, TWITTER!
y’know, after you’ve put in that call to Children’s Services…
3 Comments »
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Dude, you crack me up!
Comment by Matt Rogers — August 12, 2009 @ 11:37 am
I have no doubts that you’re awesome like all of that.
You can follow me on Twitter and I’ll follow you, but I have succumbed to the feeding & clothing of my children and so neglect the tweeting…I still occasionally battle with Facebook to make it update my Twitter feed, but that’s all the time I can allot.
Enjoy
Comment by stephanie (bad mom) — August 13, 2009 @ 6:51 am
I cannot believe I’ve been away so long that you’re now twittering and I’ve missed more than a full month of it. Shameful! Good golly, I’ve missed you. This post was HILARIOUS.
Comment by Leslie — October 26, 2009 @ 5:31 am