Older brother is playing the Wii on one.
Sister is watching Lemonade Mouth (for the tenth time) on another.
Dad is sleeping watching the game on another.

So when the two-year-old wants to watch Dinosaur Train, and all the TVs in the house are being used by other/older people, the two-year-old is relegated to watching his show on Netflix on an iPhone.

It’s exhausting, having to hold up the three ounce screen yourself. It makes one’s arm tired.

(Remember when you were a kid and there was one TV in the house? And it had a dial with 13 channels on it? And four of the channels were blizzard white out? Yeah… we were practically pioneers.)

Fine, I admit it… I didn’t even set out Easter baskets for my kids this year. Two of them are “too old” to believe that a large rabbit comes to put candy in an empty basket left on the kitchen table, and the little one doesn’t even know what an Easter bunny is. I decided that it’s fine if it stays that way. While I love Easter and its religious significance, the pagan bunny can seriously take a hike for all I care. Do my kids need an excuse for large amounts of candy? Nope, they already have one — it’s called Halloween.

I did buy them some candy… it was left in a communal bowl in the middle of the kitchen table, and I announced its presence on Saturday evening. Jon’s mom had an Easter egg hunt, and kids braved the rain to collect plastic eggs (filled with, ahem, more candy).

We dyed eggs last night… some of them turned out super-awesome. Some just, err, turned out.

So the ones that merely “turned out”? Were mostly done by me. My tie-dying skills are just as disappointing on a hardboiled egg as they are on a white t-shirt at summer camp. But I digress…

Perhaps the neatest thing about today was me getting to watch my nine year-old daughter set up our dining room table with my grandma’s gorgeous china. While I’m not really one for formal, fancy stuff… her china pattern is absolutely the coolest.

I taught my daughter how to make deviled eggs, and watched as she carefully put out the place settings and arranged the silver. I told her that she could have the awesome china when I died… which will hopefully not be in the immediate future. But even if it does happen soon, I am comforted… because Easter has taught us a valuable lesson:

There is a pagan bunny who will continue to make sure my children have candy after I’m dead.

Zoe is running for class prez, and elections are today. In the last couple of weeks, she has campaigned like a champ. Hand drawn/colored fliers with her picture, posters, speeches… all on the tight campaign budget of $0.

Third grade class president is a position that’s all bark and no bite. Though, if she wins, she’s talking about implementing a daily Chuck Norris joke each morning, before any real learning can start. Because once you’ve learned that Chuck Norris’s tears can cure cancer (…too bad he’s never cried…) you are just nipping at the bit to learn. Also, she (apparently) promised the class a donut and chocolate milk party if she’s victorious (I’m pretty sure I have a something to do with that… like all of the buying and delivering), and she’s offered free French lessons to anyone who votes for her. (French, the language… not French, the kissing. It’s third grade, guys.)

In case Chuck Norris, donuts, and free French phrases aren’t enough, we pulled out the final stops this morning.

Behold: “Campaign Nails”

If she doesn’t win with this, there is something fundamentally wrong with the system… and they’re not even using the broken/ridiculous/”why do we use this?” electoral college for today’s elections.

If the title goes to someone else, the girl can honestly say she tried her best. And if she wins, I foresee Miss A’s third grade class being run with a lovely manicured iron fist.